…there were a bunch of people called “marketers.” Marketers were the storytellers of their age, and what stories they did tell! But unlike the storytellers of old, marketers stories were not told simply to entertain, but to motivate the people of the land to part with their hard-earned coins in exchange for stuff. [Read more…] about Once Upon a Time…
G. vs. E.
Opposites are funny things. When I was a kid, I was an avid comic book reader. My favorite back then was Superman. A number of the Superman plotlines revolved around someone called “Bizzaro Superman” who lived on Bizzaro Earth, as I recall. There, everything was backwards. When Bizzaro Superman came to (our) Earth, he did everything backwards, at least from our point of view. (Stay with me…this is going somewhere.)
The problem is that sometimes opposite and backwards are two completely different concepts. The opposite of open is close. The opposite of dark is light. If you wanted to do something “backwards” you’d enter a room and turn off the light, and turn it on when you leave. However, consider the concept of “love.” The opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference. If I love something, that means I care passionately about it. If I hate it, the same is true (different emotion – same intensity). If I stop loving something, I simply cease to care…therfore the opposite of love is indifference. [Read more…] about G. vs. E.
Pay Attention.
When I was a kid, I lost count of the times my father (mother, teacher, adult, grandparent, etc.) said “Pay Attention!” to me. Not that it mattered. I’ve always been something of a dreamer. It’s where I get my best ideas. Anyway, it seems that they were onto something. Attention, I mean.
It goes something like this…no matter how rich or how poor, how powerful or how weak, how young or how old, there is one common denominator in all our lives. Time. Each of us has the same 24 hours per day – no more, no less. How we spend this time is what occupies our waking hours. When I was a kid, time was a pretty simple thing to manage – get up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed. What free time I had, I could choose to read (my personal favorite) or watch one of three TV channels, or listen to a handful of radio stations. Occasionally, I could go to see a movie or a play. That was about it. Now consider my daughter. This seven-year-old is growing up in a world with hundreds of satelite TV channels, ditto for satelite radio. Add to that dozens of magazines, CDs, DVDs, podcasts, MP3s and a host of other stiumuli. She has literally hundreds more choices in entertainment than I had at her age.
Pause with me for a nanosecond. [Read more…] about Pay Attention.
Tax the Stupid.
Okay. Stay with me on this one. In America, we tax everything. There’s income tax, sales tax, inheritance tax, and on and on and on. That doesn’t even begin to cover all the hidden taxes – user fees, surcharges, and the like. I, for one, would dearly love to see the entire U.S. tax code scrapped, and either a flat tax (X% of income) or a VAT (value-added tax) to replace all of it. Since I don’t think I’ll see that in my lifetime, I have a modest proposal for an alternative that would generate all the income the government needs, and then some. It’s simple, effective, and likely to be welcomed with open arms by a vast majority of the public.
Tax the stupid. [Read more…] about Tax the Stupid.
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…
I don’t want to get off on a rant here (with apologies to Dennis Miller), but I feel compelled to say a few words about SPAM. I’m not talking about the all-purpose food from the fine folks at Hormel, nor am I making a Monty Python reference. No, gentle reader, I’m talking about unsolicited email, and nefarious bastards that are behind the practice. Unlike the Feds “we don’t know how to define spam, but we’ll know it when we see it,” I can define it. It is the moral equivalent of 4th class advertising. Unsolicited, unwanted, and unnecessary. Ever wonder why you get so many unsolicited ads in your (snail) mail box? Because they are A) cheap to send, and B) work.
Pause with me for a nanosecond. [Read more…] about Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…
Yelling “Movie!” in a crowed firehouse.
In January 2006, The “King of All Media” (a.k.a. Howard Stern) moves his blue humor act from terrestrial radio to Sirius satellite radio.
Yawn.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to hold my breath that Sirius is going to see some huge uptick in sales, as Stern-iacs sign up for satelite radio to get their daily fix. (A) I don’t care, and (B) I know something Sirius doesn’t.
Consider parents with a youngster who suddenly discovers that he can get a rise out of his parents when he uses a “bad” word. What happens? Well, in my family, the child is told “we don’t approve of that kind of language.” If the language persists, the punishment begins. Eventually (even in families that equate a lack of discipline with “loving” the child) the novelty of the bad word wears off. Eventually, the child must either give up, or look for an even more shocking word. Eventually, even that falls flat, and the child has nothing left to do for an encore.
Pause with me for a nanosecond.
Merry Christmas. Deal with it.
When I was a kid, “In God We Trust” on our money was a non-issue, reciting the Pledge at school was expected, and seeing a crèche on public property was not a big deal…in fact, it was the norm. Today, it seems that everybody in business is paranoid about even the appearance of any “bias” towards Christianity, especially during Christmas. It seems that the PC crowd would have us believe that the “separation of church and state” dictate that the government do everything possible to ignore any kind of expression of Christianity.
Pause with me for a nanosecond. [Read more…] about Merry Christmas. Deal with it.
Monkey #3.
One of my favorite stories concerns scientist studying monkeys. As the story goes, there’s an observation room with some one-way glass, overlooking a room where the experiment is carried out. In the room there is metal plate on the floor, in the center of the room, which can be electrified to deliver a mild, but somewhat painful shock. Suspended above the metal plate by way of a string, is a bunch of bananas. [Read more…] about Monkey #3.
Confessions of a Car Dealer Advertiser.
Okay. I admit it. For a year and a half, I created ads for car dealerships.
It’s funny. When I began writing and directing car ads, I quickly discovered that there are reasons that most car dealers have ads that…how can I put this delicately…um…bite.
First of all, the budget for car ads is about $300. That covers talent, videography, post-production, and everything from script to screen. That’s not much money, and it doesn’t allow for much in the way of wiggle room for talent, props, sets, or anything else.
Next, let’s add to this mix the fact that most car dealers want to use their sales staff in the commercials. It’s been my experience that most sales reps aren’t really comfortable in front of the camera. And it shows. Lastly, lets examine the “we’ve always done it this way” phenonmenon as it applies to car ads. The industry mantra is that the manufacturer sells the car, the dealer association sells the promotion, and the dealer sells the deal. That’s why you see dealers running ads that show one or more vehicles with payments or “off-MSRP” pricing, instead of ads that try to convince you why you should deal with a specific dealer. [Read more…] about Confessions of a Car Dealer Advertiser.
Impression-ism.
I love advertising. There. I admit it. I love the idea of telling a story that results in somebody buying something. I love being able to create ads that move people. But there’s another part to advertising that frequently gets overlooked by creative types (like me) and customers. The two sides of that particular coin are frequency and impressions.
Let’s say your ad agency writes the mother of all ads – an ode to your product that makes grown men cry, women salute, and people flock to your product. Let’s say you decide to launch this ad out into the public – doesn’t matter if it’s in print or broadcast. Now you have a decision…how many times to run the ad.
Pause with me for a nanosecond. [Read more…] about Impression-ism.