Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Archives for March 2009

Who gets Jeep?

The American Legend.
Jeep: The American Legend.

Let’s be honest. Chrysler is RIP. Today’s announcement that Chrysler has 30 days to make a deal with Fiat does nothing but forestall the inevitable. To get the Fiat deal done, creditors must allow Chrysler to default on loans. Why would they do that, if they simply force Chrysler into bankruptcy? After all, 10 cents on the dollar is better than nothing. So let’s assume that Chrysler is heading for that big Chapter 11 (or 7) in the sky. Now what?

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we won’t see anybody buy Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep lock, stock and pistons. Nope, the parts will be worth (marginally) more than the sum of the companies. Chrysler itself is worthless – the only two vehicles they have that are in anything close to what resembles demand are the Town & Country minivan and the 300 sedan. Neither is currently considered best-0f-breed. Chrysler can sink into the sunset with few tears from the great unwashed. [Read more…] about Who gets Jeep?

D.C.: the Solomon Solution

An incisive decision.
An incisive decision.

Remember Solomon? For those of you who aren’t big Bible fans, Solomon was an Old Testament ruler – King of the Hebrews – who was renowned for his wisdom. In fact, the phrase “Wisdom of Solomon” indicates somebody that is very, very wise. King Solomon’s most famous decision was a ruling regarding a baby and dueling mothers. As the tale goes, one mother had rolled over in the night, accidentally smothering her newborn. To deal with her loss, she claimed that another woman’s baby was her own. In an era thousands of years before DNA, Solomon was asked to decide to which mother the living baby actually belonged. [Read more…] about D.C.: the Solomon Solution

Barney (the less than) Frank.

There are a couple of things that just drive me absolutely nuts. Boredom. Laziness. Lying. And number one with a bullet on my hit list of things I hate: weaselness. I define “weaselness” as a behavior where the weasel in question acts in a way so as to make life easier for themselves at the expense of the rest of the world, usually by twisting the truth beyond recognition, ducking responsibility, and blamestorming.

Barney Frank is a weasel. [Read more…] about Barney (the less than) Frank.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

First of all, let me go on record by stating that I was NOT wishing for a blizzard. Evidently, I was out-voted. As I write this (at around 6:35 PM CDT), we are being hit with some snow that I would characterize as “relentless.” As to the “blizzard” classification, let’s go to the authorities at Answers.com:

bliz·zard (blĭz‘ərd) n.

    1. A violent snowstorm with winds blowing at a minimum speed of 35 miles (56 kilometers) per hour and visibility of less than one-quarter mile (400 meters) for three hours.
    2. A very heavy snowstorm with high winds.
  2. A torrent; a superabundance: a blizzard of phone calls. [Read more…] about Be Careful What You Wish For.

Snow Job.

Let it snow. But not much.
Let it snow. But not much.

As I write this, it is about 68 degrees and overcast, here in Amarillo, Centrally Located Between Two Oceans!™ It’s been in the 70s and even up into the 80s over the past couple of weeks. Lows have been in the high 30s and 40s. I mention this because I’ve just learned that the brain trust at the Amarillo Independent School District have unilaterally decreed that school will be canceled for all of Amarillo tomorrow. This is due to the prediction by the National Weather Service of a blizzard (!) where they forecast between one and two feet of snow for us tomorrow.

Pause with me for a nanosecond, whilst I rage against the unfairness of weather here in the Panhandle. [Read more…] about Snow Job.

Obama’s March Towards Socialism.

I’ve been one of the ones that back before the election was warning about the consequences of a swing to the political left. Now those warnings and predictions are coming true with a speed that nobody (including me) could have anticipated. I’m no seer, nor am I some sort of political expert. But I do know people. And human nature. And when you get past the veneer of telegenic polish that is The Teleprompter President, I see what’s really going on. If anything, I’m convinced that we’re no longer heading towards Socialism (hint: We’re already there). No, what I’m worried about now is the idea that we are careening towards a totalitarian, fascist state.

If you’re not plugged in to the political process, there’s no time like the present. Start listening. Try to get past what the commentators say. Ignore the talking heads for a bit. Instead, listen to what the pols are saying – preferably the unedited version that you hear on C-SPAN. If that doesn’t scare you – nothing will. [Read more…] about Obama’s March Towards Socialism.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Did you ever read something and say to yourself, “I wish I’d written that”? I did that today. Here’s the link: http://blogs.dailymail.com/donsurber/2009/03/12/52-days-52-mistakes/. Simple. Brilliant. Devestatingly true. Archie Bunker once opined, “There’s something rotten in the state of Denver.” He could have been talking about The Chosen One’s signing of the Stimulus Bill.

The scary thing is that, every time I see a headline (like the outrage! OUTrage, I tell you! over the AIG bonuses), I wonder if the story du jour is being used as a smokescreen to hide what’s REALLY going on (like the DOD’s change in policy over how the military disposes of spent brass cartridges).

Read the list. And be afraid. Be very afraid.

It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green.

Big Brass Ones.
Big Brass Ones.

Pity poor Obama. When you’re trying to be the “Green President,” the “Anti-War President,” the “Anti-Gun President,” and the “Fix the Deficit/Economy President” all at once, it can be daunting job. Especially when these goals are at cr0ss-purposes from each other. Case in point: ammunition.

You see, when it comes to ammo, the U.S. Government is Customer Numero Uno. The dirty little secret of guns is that if you wanna be able to hit what you’re aiming at (my definition, by the way of gun control), you gotta practice. Practice makes perfect, my daddy is fond of sayin’ – and in this case, “practice” is the difference between being able to, say, hit the side of a barn, versus hitting an innocent bystander (what the media calls “collateral damage”) when you’re busy trying to keep the bad guys from separating you from your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. [Read more…] about It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green.

Beck: The 21st Century Paul Revere.

Another guy who got it.
Another guy who "got it."

There’s something happening here. You can feel it in the air. You can see it on people’s faces, hear it in their voices. Change. And I don’t mean the kind of B.S. “Change” that we saw on Obama’s campaign posters. I mean the kind of change that changes the course of a nation. And the tipping point is this afternoon.

I’m a conservative. A proud conservative. And I believe this country is, frankly, going to Hell in a hand-basket. Sadly, this started long before Obama took office. While I believe that George Bush the Younger is a principled, Godly man, too many things that happened on his watch ran contrary to my conservative principles. That was bad. This is worse: since Obama took office, the country is on a toboggan ride, downhill towards Socialism. Spending like drunken sailors (no offense to our Navy, guys – it’s just an expression), Congress seems content to fiddle while the U.S.A. burns. No program is stupid enough, wacky enough, or costly enough to deny it funding, while even the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office warns that most of the “stimulus” they’ve passed will not only fail to stimulate the economy, but will in fact prolong the recession. Obama has acknowledged as such, even back as far as the campaign days. When asked about his plan to tax capital gains even when it’s been proven, time and time again, that this will have a detrimental effect on the economy, he replied, “But it’s the right thing to do.”

The right thing to do. Interesting turn of phrase. [Read more…] about Beck: The 21st Century Paul Revere.

An Open Letter to the British PM.

Mar. 3: President Obama is seen alongside British Prime Minister Gordon Brown in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington. (Reuters)
Mar. 3: President Obama is seen alongside British Prime Minister Gordon Brown in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington. (Reuters)

Dear Prime Minister Brown:

I noted, with interest, the reception provided you by President and Mrs. Obama upon the occasion of your first State visit to our shores. As a private citizen who has never held elective office, I usually leave maters of State to the State Department and the Executive branch. However, due to recent events, I feel I must express myself regarding your treatment by our new President.

First, allow me, on behalf of the American people, to apologize to you, your wife, and your country. Because of the way democracies work (and remember, we learned most of what we know of democracies from your ancestors), we periodically elect a new leader. He or she is chosen to not only lead our country, but to represent our country to other countries and other visiting dignitaries. I wish I could claim that Mr. Obama, being new to the job, and all, is just having some first-100-days jitters. I fear this is not the case. I am deeply concerned that he and his administration are tone-deaf, when it comes to foreign policy, and are confusing the ways you treat friends with the way you treat foes. I’m afraid that President and Mrs. Obama insulted you. Even worse, I’m afraid that they might have done so out of a boorish sense of disdain for your country, our shared history, and your country’s support of our mutual efforts to fight Islamic Fundamentalism. Regardless of their motives and their feelings, Great Britain is our oldest, most loyal, and most treasured ally. You deserve our respect, our gratitude, our admiration, and our friendship. By their rude behavior, I’m afraid that you and the British people may believe Americans are ungrateful, spoiled, and boorish. Please let me assure you that the President’s behavior does not reflect the sentiments of the United States of America. And I hope that you will not allow his slight to drive a wedge between our two great nations. [Read more…] about An Open Letter to the British PM.