DATELINE: WASHINGTON, April 18, 2021 – The White House has announced a new initiative regarding guns, answering critics on the right who point out that criminals do not obey gun laws, no matter how “common sense” they are, or how well-intentioned. White House Spokesperson Jenn Psaki stated, “President* Biden has noted the resistance to his common sense gun bans…er…um…gun reforms from the Right, with the pundits pointing out that laws only affect law-abiding citizens. So we’ve come up with a plan that will address these concerns. We call it, ‘Midnight Range Time.'”[Read more…] about A Plan for Guns That Works.
What’s in a name? I’m the first to admit my last name can be something of a challenge for some. “Kozak” is a Czech name, from the original Czech word for “cossack” – a fierce, warrior, often referring to a calvary soldier, complete with a rifle, brace of pistols, and a saber. (Ah, for the good old days.) When my great-grandfather came over from Prague at the turn of the century, he (or the guy working the intake desk at Ellis Island anglicized it to “Kozak.” In Czech, it’s actually pronounced “KO-yahk,” from what I understand. I’d have to go by my first name over there, for there is no translation for “Bradford.” But I digress.[Read more…] about What’s in a Name?
This whole “color thing” is getting confusing. We’re being segregated into “white,” “black,” “brown,” and “yellow,” as if that should matter. And “white” is supposed to be racist, because in the past, white people referred to people of color “black,” “brown” and “yellow.” In fact, you’re apparently a racist just for being white. But the Left claims you can’t be a racist if you’re black, brown or yellow which, ironically, sounds pretty racist to me.
So what’s the deal about color? I’m a graphic artist. I mean, if a graphic artist can’t get a handle on this, how will anybody else be able to understand color theory. Let me try to explain…[Read more…] about Are Color Palettes Racist?
BEIJING—A spokesperson for the People’s Republic of China today announced that Beijing will be the future home of the Biden Presidential* Library.
“We are pleased to donate a tract of land adjacent to the Imperial City in Beijing, for the planned tribute to your most glorious new Leader” said Hua Chunying, director of the Foreign Ministry Information Department of China. “As we all know, President* Harris will be soon taking over, but we do not know exactly when that will occur, it is prudent for us to begin plans for the Library now.”[Read more…] about China Announces Donation of Land for Biden Presidential* Library
EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a continuing series of updated fairy tales, for the new millennium. Think of them as “living tales,” where we adjust the story – and the moral – to suit the times in which we live.
Once upon a time, there was a young man, who lived in a village. The lad came from a very traditional household – family values, church, traditions, belief in self-reliance, and all that jazz. But he grew up in an era where the old ways were looked upon first as “old fashioned,” and now “outdated,” “outmoded,” and flat-out “wrong.” Day after day, he was chided, criticized, and even mocked for his beliefs. The peer pressure was almost unimaginable. He couldn’t walk the streets of the village, go into an inn, or attend school without hearing his values torn down. He felt ostracized and unwelcome everywhere but his home. [Read more…] about Modern Fairy Tales: The Wolf Who Cried “Boy!”
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
Thank you, please be seated. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Abby Normale-Pharse, and I’m the Under-Under Secretary of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service, and I am the bureaucrat in charge of the Bureau of Undocumented, Radicalized Islamic Affairs. I’m very pleased today to announce a new program, that we in the Obama Administration believe will have a dramatic effect on reducing terrorism in this formerly-great nation of ours. We call it, the Terrorist Reintegration and Immigration Program, or “TRIP” for short. [Read more…] about Terrorism with a Happy (Bureaucratic) Face
Something weird is going on. I can feel it. But I can’t really figure out exactly what…or why. I’m not a big “conspiracy guy.” I’m a believer in Occam’s Razor, and I think it’s nuts to see a conspiracy behind every tree and under every rock. Still, there is something weird happening, and I’d like to know what is the deal, here. I am speaking, of course, about the selection of flavors found in over the counter medicines and oral care products. Here’s what I mean… [Read more…] about Flavor of the Month.
No. I’m NOT making this up.
Not content to have banned private ownership of most guns (and making the ones you can still legally own bloody difficult to do so), the home of the Magna Carta, bangers n’ mash, and the London bobbie have begun the inexorable slide into a state of irrelevancy by promoting a campaign to ban knifes.
I’m not kidding. [Read more…] about If I Had a Hammer…
Words. We writers live by ’em. And sometimes (if you offend the wrong Muslim lunatic) die by them. But they are the essential part of how we do what we do. Words mean things. But not all words mean the same things to all people. And living in the Age of Political Correctness, not all wordsmiths are created equal, at least as far as permission to use certain words goes. Allow me to give you some examples… [Read more…] about What’s in a Word?