Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

Loyalty…and Honor.

One of my favorite sayings is “ya dance with the one that brung ya.” I’ve always believed that. Even if you have an opportunity to “trade up” or cut a better deal, when you make a deal, you stick with it.

Throughout my years in business, I’ve found that these words have served me well. And I’ve seen problems – BIG problems crop up when those words were ignored.

Loyalty, you see, is closely tied to honor. Sticking to your word when times are good is no challenge. Much like faith, however, when the going gets tough, you find out who honors commitments – and who doesn’t.

[Read more…] about Loyalty…and Honor.

Senators: “It’s All About ME.”

I love televised hearings…especially those from the Senate Judiciary. Proof positive that these preening popinjays are in reality garrulous gasbags, there’s no way you could crowd that many egos in one room unless they were in a gaseous state.

My favorite part of the proceedings is when the Senators each get their turn at the microphone to bore us for 10 minutes or so with the public display of grinding their axe against the skin of the nominee. The opposition party warns ominously that the nominee is in for a tough fight if he dares voice an opinion that endangers their pet positions. The other party flaps their gums in what can only be called a love fest.

Give me a break.

[Read more…] about Senators: “It’s All About ME.”

Devaluing Entertainment.

I watched a little bit of Dr. No on TV tonight.

That, in and of itself, is certainly unremarkable. But stay with me for a sec. I think I’m on to something.

When I was a kid, there were three channels on the (black and white) TV. There were, I think, two or three movie theatres in my hometown (Shreveport, LA) and probably a bunch of drive-ins. If you wanted to see a movie, you waited until it was released in your area, then you went to the theatre to see it. You probably went right after it opened, because there was no way to know how long a flick would play at the local (single-screen) theatre. If you didn’t catch it in the theatre, you MIGHT be able to see it at a drive-in – they largely subsisted on second-run and B-movie fare. [Read more…] about Devaluing Entertainment.

SEX. (Now that I have your attention…)

slut-puppy-BarbieI had to go on a casting call for a client a week or so ago. We were casting for a female role in an online tutorial. Through a mis-communication with the talent agency, instead of 30- and 40-year-old women showing up for the call, we saw teenagers and 20-year-olds. Now understand, I’m a 40-something-year-old (very) married male. We saw model after model show up that looked as if they were in their 20’s. When I asked about their age and experience (auditions are possibly the only profession where you can legitimately ask a woman her age without violating a social taboo), I heard things like “Oh, I’m 17 years old, and I’ve been modeling for…oh…two months.”

Pause with me for a nanosecond.

[Read more…] about SEX. (Now that I have your attention…)

Bank on it.

Banks are out of control. I thought my cell phone company was bad with hidden charges in every nook and cranny, but my bank has them beat. My (current, soon to be former) bank has instituted a charge for using an ATM, should you try and get more money out than you have in your account. Let’s consider the logic behind this one. Say, it’s the end of the month, and your spousal unit paid the bills, leaving less in the account than you expected. You are a little short of cash and stop by your friendly neighborhood ATM to get some walking around money, for those little luxuries like gasoline and food. You pop in your card and are instructed that by pressing “YES” you are giving the owner of the ATM permission to ding your account for a couple of bucks for the priviledge of using their machine. Not fun, but you’re used to it. You then click on “withdrawl” and choose $100. Not so fast, bucko. Your significant other left just $95 in the account. Payday is in two days. Now what do you think happens? In a fair and equitable world, you’d see the screen tell you, “whoops…you’ve asked for more than you’ve got…would you like to get a ballance so you can take what you need without getting an overdraft?” But no. With B of A, what you get is a SERVICE CHARGE FOR ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OUT MORE THAN YOU HAVE ON HAND.

Pause with me for a nanosecond.

[Read more…] about Bank on it.

Target-ed.

targeted
A lot has been written recently over the “Merry Christmas” thing…how a number of large companies decided to go “PC” and erase any reference to “Christmas” from their advertising and interaction with customers. Target is one of those companies that opted for “Happy Holidays.”

This post is NOT about that issue.

[Read more…] about Target-ed.

Read All About It.

A dying breed.(With appologies to J. Peterman.)

I’m a marketing guy. But before I was a marketing guy, I was a newspaper guy. Started early. I was about 13 when I threw my first paper route. Back in the days when there was still an afternoon paper, and you could watch anything you wanted on TV as long as it was on CBS, NBC, or ABC. Grew up reading the paper. Eventually did a lot of writing, a good bit of which ended up in a paper or two. Still read the paper every day. By the hardest. Get most of my news from (drum roll, please) the Internet. Not the full-goose-Bozo, commie-pinko-junkie, don’t-let-the-facts-get-in-the-way-of-a-good-rant sites. No sir. The usual: MSN, FoxNews, CNN, Bloomberg, et cetera. Newspapers now deliver “yesterday’s news, today.” Aside from local stories, there’s nothing in there I didn’t read the night – or day – before. Sad, really. Doesn’t have to be that way.

[Read more…] about Read All About It.

Standards.

The IBM PS/2.I once worked for Mark Cuban. Seriously. Back in Dallas, long before he was the outspoken owner of the Dallas Mavericks, he was the outspoken owner of a company called MicroSolutions – a computer dealer. (He later sold Microsolutions and started RadioNet/Broadcast.com, became a billionaire and bought the Mavs, but that’s a different story.) Anyway, when I worked for Mark, I was the “desktop publishing specialist” for MicroSolutions. (The very words “desktop publishing” should give you some idea about how long ago this was.) When IBM renounced the standards they’d created with the PC and AT boxes and released the then-new “PS/2” computers, a bunch of us were sent to IBM’s Dallas HQ for training. As the DTP specialist, I was particularly keen to learn about IBM’s “desktop publishing solution.” [Read more…] about Standards.

What’s in a Name?

IBM. GM. AT&T. GE. Sound familiar? They are. These are all companies that qualify as “Captains of Industry.” And with good reason. They’re huge, they’re successful, and they have vast amounts of “mindshare.” But when you are naming your company – or your product – do you want to try acronyms or meaningless bunches of letters?

Here’s the deal. All the companies listed above were once companies known by real names. International Business Machines. General Motors. American Telephone & Telegraph. General Electric. They were able to move to letter designations because the public began referring to these companies with that form of shorthand, and it stuck. (FedEx was “Federal Express” long before it was “FedEx”.) If you expect to get the same milage out of two or three letters, you’d best build up some brand equity and mindshare with a name that means something, before you attempt to get a few letters to be instantly and irrevocably associated with your name.

While we’re on the subject, I can let you in on a little secret I know…the secret to coming up with a great name. [Read more…] about What’s in a Name?

Lingere. Logic. And Lightbulbs.

Um...yeah.

Are you a woman? If not, do you know any women? Let me put this another way…are you a woman (or do you know any women) who, from time to time, buy…um…undergarments? Well, if so, I have an idea that might make that experience a little easier (for the women, anyway). And less painful for the men in their lives. Because is mama ain’t happy…

Here’s the deal. Most women have, shall we say, “strong feelings” about the experience of buying underwear. And if by “strong feelings” you understand me to mean “hate with a passion usually reserved for recent ex-boyfriends, root canals, and income tax audits” then we’re on the same page. Yes, fellow males of the world, women HATE to shop for underwear. Now I’m sure that there are SOME women out there who don’t hate it. We have a name for such women. We call them “Victoria’s Secret Runway Models.” But, I digress…

[Read more…] about Lingere. Logic. And Lightbulbs.