Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

Charity.

I just finished reading an opinion piece on Wired News, entitled Jobs vs. Gates: Who’s the Star? It was…interesting. Before we begin our little discourse, a few disclaimers are in order: I’m not a “Windows” guy. I’m not a “Mac” guy. (I think both platforms are equally annoying.) My ideal computer would look, feel, and work far different from either of them. (And not any closer to Linux, thank you very much.) I own no stock in Microsoft, Apple, or Pixar. I have met Mr. Bill (once, a long time ago) but we never really spoke. I’ve not met Jobs. I’ve owned both Macs and PCs. In short, I’m about as platform-neutral and unbiased an observer as you could hope for.

I should also reveal that I consider myself to be a Christian (Episcopalian, if you must know), a church-goer (to a non-denominational church in Amarillo), a Conservative, a Capitalist (with a capital “C”), and a big fan of Ayn Rand’s philosophy (except as it applies to religion).

Having said that, let me know offer that Leander Kahney’s article misses the point. Completely. Utterly. Totally.

[Read more…] about Charity.

Whither Carpet?

Carpet. Really ugly carpet.

Carpet. What a weird invention. Now take rugs…rugs I understand. Anyone with hardwood floors and freezing weather can instantly see the value of a good area rug. But carpet? Come on…if ever there was an invention where the inventor deserved to burn in Hell for all time, it’s carpet. Allow me to explain…

Carpet is basically a wall-to-wall rug, right? I mean, if a rug covers up part of your floor, why not cover up all of your floor, huh? I’ll tell you why, bunkie. It’s because you can’t roll up a carpet and haul it out of the house to get all the dust, dirt, bugs, and other assorted crap out of it. THAT’S why.

[Read more…] about Whither Carpet?

Thoughts on TV.

Law & Order & Profit

 

"Half of everything on TV is crap. But then, half of everything is crap. "
– Anonymous

 

I’d love to know who first said that. Looked around Google and a couple of other places. Couldn’t find it. Oh well.

I was checking the news this morning, and came across a couple of items:

  • The West Wing has been canceled.
  • Emily’s Reasons Why Not (Heather Graham’s new show) was canceled after only one episode.
  • Law & Order (NBC) has been moved from it’s time slot to be opposite Lost (ABC) on the schedule.

Let’s think about this for a second. The West Wing was, at one time, an interesting show, but had long since "jumped the shark." I think that happened with Martin Sheen & Co. said "the Hell with doing a drama…now that we’ve got an audience, let’s push our liberal agenda message!"

[Read more…] about Thoughts on TV.

Timing.

I’m supposed to be writing about marketing today, so here goes…

I’ve got this great Aggie joke, see, but it’s hard to tell. You have to help me out. I’m going to write it out in dialog, but you have to understand some writing conventions to “get” the joke. The important one is this. If you have two people talking, when one character stops in mid-word and the other starts immediately below that, you have to imagine that the second person is cutting off the first. Okay. Here goes…

[Read more…] about Timing.

What’s Funny?

There’s a lot of things I find funny that other people don’t. I have, admittedly, a somewhat warped sense of humor. One thing I find funny are jokes that make you think. For instance, my favorite PETA-hater joke:

    "A baby seal walks into a club…

(That’s the whole joke. Get it?)

Anyway…someone reminded me of this one. It’s a visual joke, so you’ll just have to see it. Scroll down to see the card, then click on it to turn it over.

Blonde Jokes.

Pam. 'Nuff said. I love jokes. And I thank God for blonde jokes…for you can repurpose almost any ethnic joke that picks on someone for being dense, make the subject “blonde” and, voilà! – it’s no longer politically incorrect.

Of course, in Texas, we have Aggie Jokes. (If you’re not from here, you won’t get it.)

While I have my own favorites, here is a link to one that is arguably the best blonde joke ever.

Enjoy!

Insane-O!

Calypso Harry!Why is anybody taking this guy seriously?

If this country had any cojones left, we’d either put him in a home for the mentally unstable, or we’d be prosecuting him for treason. But noooooo…he marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a pal of Paul Robeson. He Speaks Out For the Oppressed!

Give me strength. And while you’re at it, gimme a couple of aspirin… [Read more…] about Insane-O!

God versus the MSM.

I can relate to the way Saul of Tarsus must have felt, once he “got it.” In his experience, scales literally fell from his eyes, and he could see. My scales were not literal, but my experience going from “blind” to “got it” is certainly a similar experience. Only my blindness had to do with the way the mainstream media portrays religion, God, Christianity, and what used to be lumped together into one umbrella term called “family values.” [Read more…] about God versus the MSM.