Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

A shameless plug.

VectorRight.comThis is a shameless plug for my wife’s company. I say this in the spirit of full disclosure. VectorRight.com sells conservative-themed merchandise (shirts, caps, bumper stickers, etc.) I did the design work for her on the front end, and all the tshirt and bumper sticker designs as well. There’s some free stuff there, too – a bunch of Photoshopped pictures that feature Bill, Hillary, and some other lefties. It’s a completely partisan site – forget “fair and balanced,” unless your idea of fair is that she’s got a site and there are probably a dozen liberal merch sites out there competing with her.

So if you’re in the mood to see some decidely politically INcorrect stuff that trashes the Left (as opposed to what you’re USED to seeing, where the Left trashes the Right but calls it “all in good fun” – go for it. And buy something. I don’t make a dime off it – I did all the work “pro bono” which is Latin for “Honey do” (if you know what I mean, and if you’re a married guy, you do). But in order to perserve a more perfect union (mine) I’d consider it a personal favor if you hit the site, looked around, and found something nice for the Conservatives in your life.

The lesser of two weasels.

The candidatesAbout this election thing. Color me depressed/worried/fatalistic/tired/ready to go hide somewhere. In case you don’t already know this about me, I’m a proud Conservative. Note, I did not say “Republican” nor did I imply that I’m a “compassionate” conservative or any such nonsense as that. I’m bummed because no matter WHO wins in November, we’re in for a rough ride, from my point of view. [Read more…] about The lesser of two weasels.

Water, water everywhere.

Smart WaterI like water. I like to drink a lot of it, as it is probably the only thing in my diet that tastes good, is good for me, and has zero calories. (Now if only they can come up with a zero calorie steak…)

Years ago, Robin Williams did a bit that went like, “Ooh…when I wanna blow a buck on a bottle of water, I buy Perrier!” That was back when buying water – any kind of water – seemed pretty stupid, as the stuff that came out of the tap tasted pretty good. I howled. Then I moved to Amarillo.

I don’t know what’s in the water up here, but whatever it is, it tastes foul and evidently fouls up your teeth. We still bathe in it (by necessity), but we’ve taken to buying water by the three-gallon jug, so our teeth won’t fall out. [Read more…] about Water, water everywhere.

An open (“Dear John”) letter to Microsoft.

Dear Microsoft,

Another winner from Redmond. Remember?This is a difficult letter for me to write. We’ve been together for a long time – really since 1987. Oh, sure, we flirted before that, with Word DOS, but our relationship really became serious with the release of Windows 1.0. You had to know the level of my commitment to our relationship…I mean, after all, back in 84 when I bought my first PC, I had a choice even back then – an 8086 PC or a Mac. For me it was simple. A PC gave me more bang for my buck – the Mac was cute, but seemed more expensive toy than a real, working computer. Back then, it was like dating a foreign exchange student – I did my best to learn your language, ever hopeful you’d even try and learn mine. (I’m probably a handful of people that remember the painful joke that was EDLIN.) [Read more…] about An open (“Dear John”) letter to Microsoft.

Goin’ Digital.

I love photography. I have since I was a kid. Back then, the big barrier to entry was the hassle and price of developing film and getting prints. This struck me this morning, because I was asked by my daughter to take pictures of her for a school project. She protested a couple of shots, feeling as if she wasn’t ready for the shutter to snap. I explained to her, that it didn’t matter – I could take as many pictures as we needed to get the right shot – the bad pics would simply be deleted. [Read more…] about Goin’ Digital.

The Language of Advertising.

I love advertising. There. I said it. I’d rather watch a great ad than just about anything. A 30-second national ad has roughly the same budget, acting quality, directing quality, and production quality of a 30-minute sitcom. A well-crafted 30-second spot tells a short story, with a plot, characters, story arc, and everything else you expect in good communication. Oh, and it sells something. Usually. (Some advertisers forget to sell a product, and some forget to tell a compelling story, but I’m speaking here of GOOD commercials.
[Read more…] about The Language of Advertising.

Fire.

I live in the Texas Panhandle.

As you may be aware, the Panhandle has been in the news a lot lately, for a series of devestating wildfires that have consumed over 100,000 acres of land. Life here has been pretty strange, lately. My Mother-in-Law’s farm and ranch survived, but they lost some crops and some livestock. The problem? Rain, or to be more specific the lack of it. According to the National Weather Service, we’ve had less than an inch of rain since November of ’05. That puts us squarely in the “draught” category. Not good. Here’s the weird thing, though. Up here, while the fires are headline news, there’s a sense that this is all just part of life in the Panhandle. Weird.

[Read more…] about Fire.

Between Iraq and a Hard Place.

Despite our best efforts, it seems the world is a more dangerous place today, than it was yesterday. Understand, that’s no knock against President Bush and our troops. Quite the contrary, I think they’ve done an amazing job, given they’ve had to fight an unconventional war against an enemy with no uniform, not to mention fight against a mainstream media who tells only the story they want to tell (and not the whole truth), and the liberals here at home who want Bush to lose, no matter what the cost. But like an insane, global version of Whack-A-Mole, the bad guys just keep on popping up, daring us to do something about them.

[Read more…] about Between Iraq and a Hard Place.