Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Blessed are the Makers…

ML-LH-350-VS-2

I think it was humorist and co-founder of the Algonquin Round Table, Robert Benchley (not to mention forbearer of author Peter “Jaws” Benchley) who quipped, “There are two kinds of people in this world…those who put people into two groups, and those who don’t.” I’m definitely in the first group. And for the purposes of this essay, the two groups into which I’m dividing people can be thought of as “Makers” versus “Customers.” To put it another way, when something needs fixing, or you can’t find exactly what you want, “makers” do it themselves, while “customers” hire it done. Nothing wrong with that. Depends on the task, I suppose. If it’s something I can do myself, I’ll do it. If it’s something I can’t (major surgery springs to mind) I’ll hire it done. But some people delegate a lot more than I. For instance, when I couldn’t find an iPhone 6 Plus belt holster to my liking, I made one. No big. Not hard to do. And I enjoy working with my hands. But I’ve gotten lots of questions about the case. It usually goes something like this: [Read more…] about Blessed are the Makers…

ServerGate.

Hillary Clinton - Getty Images
Photo of Hillary Clinton via Politico, from Getty Images

Apparently, Hillary Clinton never learned a thing in her youth, when she served on the Congressional staff of the investigation into Watergate.

In a report tonight in Politico, Congressman Trey Gowdy states that the former Secretary of State wiped her server clean, and has destroyed ALL the emails on it. For those of you who frequent the mainstream media (where you surprisingly might have heard a little about this story) or for those of you coming in late (welcome to the party, pal!) allow me to give you the 50,000-foot view history lesson: [Read more…] about ServerGate.

The People v. Climate Change

To the Honorable Chief Justice John Roberts and the Honorable Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States of America:

If it please the court, we hereby submit this petition for an injunction to bind the United States Government from any activity in support of the concept of Climate Change, including, but not limited to, “cap and trade,” “carbon taxes,” “carbon emissions,” and “environmental impact,” either through legislation, executive action, or administrative regulations. We ask the court’s help, due to the fact that Climate Change (nee: “Global Warming,” nee: “Global Cooling”) is so clearly a religion, and therefore violates Article I of the United States Constitution prohibiting the establishment of religion and abridging freedom of speech or of the press.  [Read more…] about The People v. Climate Change

On Bullying…and Bullies.

When I was a kid we had bullies. I was a student at Southfield School. And in 6th grade there was a kid who was bullying me. It just didn’t stop. I tried being nice. I tried keeping quiet. I tried telling the Principal. Nothing worked…until one day I’d had enough. I got to my mom’s car and threw my books in, furious, and I told her “Wait here…I’ve got something to take care of,” and I stormed off. There used to be an old wooden long building out by the field, they used as dressing rooms. I stormed onto the field, looking for this kid, mad as Hell, and I wasn’t going to take it any more. 
[Read more…] about On Bullying…and Bullies.

All About The Feminists.

When Meghan Trainor released “All About That Bass,” I saw the appeal. Catchy tune. Tight arrangement. Cute video. Appealing, “take me the way I am” message. I thought “Hey, cool…a positive message for girls/women that will counter the prevailing messaging in videos that women need to obsess about their weight/looks/sexuality to attract a man.” So I was curious to see what her follow-up video would be.

Ruh-rho… [Read more…] about All About The Feminists.

Pretzel Logic (with apologies to Steely Dan)

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to watch, does it still make a sound? Of course it does. To think otherwise is silly.

If a man commits a crime and no one catches him, is it still a crime? No doubt.

But what if a politician or bureaucrat (or several of them) commit a crime, break the law, or violate the Constitution and the news media suppresses the story, and does not report on it…is it still newsworthy? I’d say undeniably “YES.” But that’s abstract. The reality is a bit more complicated. [Read more…] about Pretzel Logic (with apologies to Steely Dan)

TV is dead. Long live TV!

tv-tombstone

I am a child of Television. No kidding…my first word? Not “mama” or “dada,” but “Popeye.” I was a disciple of Larry, Moe and Curly, and George Reeves taught me to believe a man could fly. I don’t think you could find a kid that was more plugged-in, tuned-in, and aware of television than I am. Which is why it somewhat pains me to report that TV, my lifelong companion, is dying, and near death. It was a good run. We had some great times. But I come not to praise TV, but to bury it – drive a stake through it’s 49 share heart. And to give you hope for the future.  [Read more…] about TV is dead. Long live TV!

See Obama. See Obama Run. And Run. And Run…

I cut my teeth on books like the McGuffy Reader. The Adventures of Dick and Jane were for the slow kids. But while I kind of leapfrogged most of the really little kids’ books, I made it a point to read to my daughter from the time she was born until the time she grew too old for me to entertain her with a bedtime story.

Today, kids’ books are increasingly politically-correct. And because so much of the publishing world leans left, increasingly politicized and polarized. Today, a trending topic on Twitter was #obamakidsbooks. Here are a selection of the better titles – ones that I hope and pray will never make it into print:

  • One Fish, Two Fish, Your Fish is My Fish
  • Fast and Furious George
  • The Indian in the Cupbord is Elizabeth Warren
  • Little Barack Scambo
  • The Little Engine That Couldn’t Without Federal Assistance.
  • My Little Crony
  • Heather Has Two Mommies Without Jobs
  • Solynderella
  • Green Jobs and Scams
  • Obama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Presidency
  • OH, The Debt You’ll Owe!
  • The Bain Mutiny
  • Oh, The Places Michelle Obama Will Go!
  • Green Lies and Scams
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Mom-Jeans
  • Are You There, Marx? It’s Me, Barack
  • Cloudy With a Chance of Foodstamps
  • The Taking Tree
  • Fun WIth Dick and Jane Living Under a Bridge
  • Harry Potter and the President’s Stoned
  • False Expectations
  • Where In the World are the Obamas
  • Goodnight, Democracy
  • LIttle Underwater House on the Prairie
  • Where the Taxing Things Are
  • Where the Red Ink Grows
  • Are You My Big Brother?
  • The Lying, The Witch and the War Chest
  • War on Little Women
  • Charlie and the Solar Panel Factory
  • SEIU and the Purple Crayon
  • Where the Sidewalk Ends (and other shovel-ready projects)
Now THAT’S Comedy

 

 


Realigning Priorities on Memorial Day

With a late father who served proudly during WWII, and an (ex)stepson who’s an active duty Marine, I’m aware of what kinds of sacrifices men and women make, to serve our country in the military. Apparently, it’s easy for many Americans to forget just how important that service is, and exactly WHAT these brave men and women are fighting for. Let me make this very simple. They fight for our rights. Our right to disagree with our government. Our right to speak out about what we think. Our right to worship as we please – or not worship at all, if we so choose.Recently, a WWII veteran in Virginia made the national news, as he was threatened with legal action for erecting a 21-foot flagpole in front of his Virginia home, to fly an American flag. After his case received national attention, the pinheads with his homeowners association backed-down. They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble, had they simply done a little research into who this man was, and what he’d done in WWII. He passed away last month. I’m sure the homeowners association will waste no time in getting his flagpole removed. Which is a shame, for it should remain standing as a reminder of a great American and his sacrifice. Today I received an email from a friend, that detailed his story. I’d like to share it with you, here. [Read more…] about Realigning Priorities on Memorial Day