Category Archives: Entertainment

Scattershootin’ Fridays…

NEWS ITEM: Keith Olbermann was fired today from his gig with CurrentTV. Yep. AlGore fired the Keithanator. Never heard of CurrentTV? Neither has anybody else other than the half-dozen left-wingnuts that watch it. But don’t feel too badly for them. Gore’s hired Former N.Y. Gov. Elliot Spitzer as his replacement. Rumored first guest: Former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY). Lord knows what they’ll talk about…

NEWS ITEM: This week, the Little Rock Airport Authority announced plans to rename their airport to “The Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport.” The media immediately nicknamed the airport the “Hill-Billy National.” In other news, the airport announced plans for a walk-in humidor, which is curious, since the airport is a designated no-smoking area.

NEWS ITEM: Vice President Joe Biden today called for a “Global Tax,” since he believes the world just doesn’t pay enough in taxes. In a related item, the stock price of pharmaceutical companies that manufacture anti-psychotic drugs fell today, on reports of lower earnings.

 

Arguing with Progressives.

I have to confess. I’ve broken one of my Lenten vows. I promised to give up Liberals for Lent. Forgive me, Lord for I have backslid. Tonight, I got into a protracted argument about ObamaCare. It started innocently enough. I made some of what I thought would be helpful suggestions as to where we might move on from here (see my previous post on ObamaCare). It was, apparently, like waving a red flag in front of an entire herd of angry bulls. I use that analogy advisedly, for they had the ability to comprehend points of law analogous to bovines, they were full of the same kind of by-product found in pastures where bulls frolic, and their command of the English language was peppered with invectives that are reminiscent of words beginning with the prefix “bull_.” I got to thinking about how best to deal with them, and I realized it was a fool’s errand. A battle of wits with unarmed combatants. Now normally, that can amuse. Granted, there’s not much more sport in it than you’d find in shooting unarmed ducks in a rather small barrel. Still. But this group was collectively so hidebound by dogma, so blinded to reason, and so damnably dense that it took all the joy out of it. They did not know they’d been beaten.  Nay, in fact, they reveled in their defeat, braying (or mooing, I suppose) as if they’d won some great victory. Their decisive blow? They descended to name-calling. What a victory! But this got me to thinking back to my salad days, when I first became acquainted with the works of one of America’s greatest authors, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his nom de plume, Mark Twain. And it occurred to me that Mr. Twain could explain my situation far better than I. So without his permission (him being long in the grave and all that) and his works thankfully being in the public domain, I present, for your enjoyment, a chapter from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, wherein our hero, Sir Boss, narrates a tale, a chance encounter with an English subject as he tries to explain the concept of relative worth. (After all, if you’re gonna have a guest writer, why not the best, eh?) Continue reading Arguing with Progressives.

“Loser-iana” No More.

I was born and raised in Louisiana. While my hometown is Shreveport, New Orleans was, is and probably always shall be the center of the Louisiana Universe. When I was but a lad, the state got pro-football fever, when the New Orleans Saints set up shop. I remember hearing that we’d see a Super Bowl trophy Really Soon Now – surely within the first ten years, n’est pas? Nope. Throughout most of the team history, it’s been a story of loss – sometimes snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, sometimes just being bad. Heartbreakingly, astonishingly bad. What other team could generate so much angst and ennui from their own fans that they would hide their faces in shame.
Tonight, all is forgiven.
All that faith, love, and hope has been rewarded tonight with the ultimate prize. Let us celebrate. Let there be merriment in the streets, celebration in the schools, and songs in our hearts. Let the men in black and gold be our standard-bearers, and lead the state proudly.
There is no need to make excuses any longer.
There is no need to put an asterisk beside the state’s listing.
There is no need to apologize.
Tonight the entire state rejoices.
Tonight, New Orleans looks with pride and confidence to the future.
Tonight we are as one – one state with a shared pride.
“Loser”-ania no more, indeed.

Parliament Bunk-adelic.

Recently, a friend of mine (who usually exhibits a much higher degree of common sense) proposed that we stage a Constitutional Convention for the purposes of throwing out our current form of government and replacing it with a Parliamentary system, much as they have in the UK.

Pause with me for a nanosecond, whilst we ponder just how screamingly bad an idea this would be.

For those of you that slept through 8th grade Civics or Freshman History class, let me provide you with a soupcon of background on the way things evolved over the pond, and you’ll see why I hold this idea with the same esteem that I usually reserve for things I scrape off the bottom of my shoe, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi… Continue reading Parliament Bunk-adelic.

The King of Pop Dies.

Michael Jackson, then and now
Michael Jackson, then and now

The King of Pop is Dead. I don’t know of anybody that is really surprised. Think of any other celebrity (except Amy Winehouse) and you’d at least register a blip on the emotional surprise meter. Not here.

Jackson was talented. He was also, obviously a tortured soul, regardless of the reason. From my experience in show business, being a child star is a tough road to travel. Being a child star in what has widely been reported as a dysfunctional family, then add all the pressures of superstardom, and throw in a bizarre addiction to plastic surgery, and you have formula for an unhappy life and a premature death. Continue reading The King of Pop Dies.

Thoughts on Farrah Fawcett.

I never met her. Although, my family has some close friends that lived next door to her, when she was growing up in Houston. They said they could get her autograph for me. I laughed…it was during her reign on Charlies’ Angels, and I could have cared less about an autograph.

What I wanted was a date.

She was out of my league. Okay…waaaaaaaaay out of my league. At the time, she was already an item with Lee “The Six Million Dollar Man” Majors, and she was 10 years older than I was. None of that stopped me, and thousands of other guys just like me, from wishing we had a shot with Farrah. Continue reading Thoughts on Farrah Fawcett.

Perception v. Reality: Guns & States Rights

As you might have already heard, several states’ legislatures have passed – or are in the process of passing – laws that (re)assert states rights for guns that are manufactured, sold, and used within their respective states. Conventional wisdom is that these laws are going through in order to provide test cases that will come before the Supreme Court in order to decide a fundamental question: does the Federal Government have the  right to pass and enforce laws, flying in the face of the 10th Amendment.

I fervently hope that these cases get to the Supremes, and that the States Rights side prevails. We could be looking at the undoing of roughly 80 years worth of progressive laws that have upset the delicate balance between the Federal government and the “Several States.”

All that notwithstanding, the states that are passing/have passed these laws made me stop and ponder for a different reason. For instance, the first state to pass such a law was…Montana. Not to take away anything from Big Sky country, but Montana isn’t exactly (forgive me) number one with a bullet on my list of states where gun manufacturers ply their trade. Matter of fact, I was under the impression that most gun manufacturers were located in Illinois. Turns out, I was wrong. Continue reading Perception v. Reality: Guns & States Rights

Beauty is their Bidness.

In my salad days, I played a bunch of beauty paegants. As a pit orchestra drummer, you get a unique perspective on pageants, much like you do when you get to see a magician’s act from behind the curtain. As an arranger/composer/orchestrator, my father got a good bit of pageant work, too. He did arrangements for some high-profile contestants, the biggest of which was Miss Louisiana, Anita Whittaker, who placed in the top five of the Miss America pageant. So when I talk about pageants, I’m not simply doing the armchair quarterback thing – I’ve been there and done that. Continue reading Beauty is their Bidness.

Barney (the less than) Frank.

There are a couple of things that just drive me absolutely nuts. Boredom. Laziness. Lying. And number one with a bullet on my hit list of things I hate: weaselness. I define “weaselness” as a behavior where the weasel in question acts in a way so as to make life easier for themselves at the expense of the rest of the world, usually by twisting the truth beyond recognition, ducking responsibility, and blamestorming.

Barney Frank is a weasel. Continue reading Barney (the less than) Frank.

Newsbabes.

Patti Ann Browne, Newsbabe.
Patti Ann Browne, Newsbabe.

I’m lucky. I office out of my home, where I have a room set up as my office. I have a flat panel monitor hooked up to my satelite, and the audio routed through some near field audio monitors. It’s a sweet setup, and enables me to keep the news on in the background, all day long. If I get really deep into code, I can turn off the audio, but normally, it’s not a distraction. Even better, I get a screen pop for the home phone’s caller ID, so I can see who’s calling without having to hunt for one of the elusive and frequently AWOL portable phones. I usually keep the satellite tuned to Fox News, as I can keep up with the important news of the day. Since Dish Network FINALLY added Fox Business, I’ve recently begun switching between Fox News and Fox Business. And I’ve recently come to a couple realizations: Continue reading Newsbabes.