Transitory State


When I was a kid, life was simple. There were boys. There were girls. Boys played “Army.” Girls played with dolls. Boys wore pants. Girls wore dresses. Life was good. I think I was 12 or so, before I heard the words “queer” and “gay” and learned that they meant “homosexual,” and was told what “homosexual” meant. I soon learned there was a whole panoply of people who had different ideas about sexuality. Boys who liked boys. Girls who liked girls. Boys who liked girls and boys, and vice-versa. Boys who liked to dress up like girls (and vice-versa). And then boys and girls who had their bodies altered to look like girls and boys, respectively. Confusing. I thought it was weird then. I’m not sure I think it’s any less weird now. Especially given that Bruce Jenner has “transitioned.” 

Look, I have a lot of friends. Some straight. Some gay. Some trans. I don’t care about their sexual orientation. I assume they don’t care about mine. But what I DO care about is the totalitarianistic/fascist way that the LGBT community is demanding that the rest of the world not only accept, but admire, and even envy those who are not straight.

I grew up in show business. Music. Theatre. Entertainment. Believe me when I tell you that you can’t be in that line of work without knowing and working with a LOT of people who are not into the ‘hetero’ lifestyle, as it were. And I would not have much of a career if I found it difficult to work with folks that are not like me. Now lets be realistic here…everybody judges. We make value judgements every day. It’s the way we’re wired. We discriminate between what we like and what we don’t like. That’s not bad. It’s not evil, racist, sexist, genderist, or any other ‘ist’ you care to name. It just is. If I prefer white over wheat bread, that doesn’t make me a “wheatist” – it just means I prefer white to wheat. I can tell you that there are quite a few people I know who happen to not be hetrosexuals that I like and admire. For their talent. Their sense of humor. Their outlook.

Think about it this way. If you are straight, how often have you ever looked at someone else who was heterosexual and admired their heterosexuality? Never, right? Me too! I’ve admired women for being beautiful. I’ve admired men for being ruggedly handsome. But I can’t think of one time I admired someone for their sexual preference. “Wow…that guy sure is straight…gotta love that!” or “I’m so proud of his straightness,” are not thoughts that have ever registered with me. So I find it very odd that this is the very thing that the LGBT community demands of us. They don’t want “acceptance” – an attitude of “we don’t care…whatever floats your boat” is not good enough. They want “We demand you admire us for our gender politics!” Sorry. No sale.

When Bruce Jenner came out and began his ‘transition’ to a ‘woman’ (quotes AND snark intended) I rolled my eyes. I don’t look at Jenner as a “man trapped in a woman’s body.” I look at him and think, “That poor soul has a mental illness.” Until and unless science comes up with a way to switch our DNA around so that we go from XY to XX (or vice-versa), no matter how he dresses, what drugs he takes (for the rest of his life) or how he mutilates his body, genetically he will still be a HE. Not a SHE. 

Sorry to be the one to state the bleedin’ obvious, but having your junk modified from “outie” to “innie” no more makes you a woman than having a couple of 200w headlights grafted on to your chest makes you a Volkswagen. I feel sympathy for Jenner. I really do. I was on a dating site the other day, and a person contacted me, wanting to go out. I reviewed the profile. The first paragraph jumped out at me, where they wrote, “First of all, I’m transgender…” Um…I get it. Not interested. Move on. Now I didn’t get all creeped out or righteously indignant. And I sure as Hell didn’t write her back, angrily condemning him/her for the affront of writing me in the first place. I’m secure enough in my own sexuality, and sensitive enough to the feelings of others that there’s no need for that. No, my first emotion was…pity. It’s bloody hard enough to get a date when you’re a guy seeking women, or a woman seeking guys. Imagine how much smaller the dating pool is for a transgender, seeking someone who’ll be not only attracted to them, but accepting of their transgender choices.

Let me give you a different perspective. I grew up in Shreveport, LA. Had a lot of musician friends who happened to be black. What in the HELL difference does someone’s skin color make? Music is music. Play well, and I want to play with you. Think about the music we’d lose if whites only listened to white artists and blacks only listened to black artists. Epically stupid, is what that is. Period. But growing up, I learned some lessons about racism, because not everybody had that same attitude. I was booked to play a gig at some rich person’s home. I wanted to hire a family friend – one of the best bass players in town. He was black. I was told “no black musicians.” I wanted to know why. It was racism. Pure and simple. Ironically, this family was cool with having black waiters in their home. But not black musicians. I refused the gig. Screw ’em. I can see the same sort of phobic attitudes would be a problem for transgendered individuals. I get it. But there’s a difference in everybody playing nice, and the kind of thing that the LGBT Mafia demands of us now.

Actor Drake Bell tweeted “I’m still gonna call him Bruce.” You’d have thought he’d wrapped a flag around a crucifix, poured urine over it, set it on fire and then stomped on it to put the fire out. There were people calling for him to not only retract, but to commit suicide for daring to question Jenner’s choices.

The LGBT thugs now insist that Jenner be referred to as “her” instead of “him,” even when writing about events that took place before the sex change. Riiiiiiight. So she  won the gold medal in the Mens Decathlon at the Olypmics in Montreal. Um…isn’t that going to be a bit confusing? [YES.] Go take a look at the listing for “Bruce Jenner” on Wikipedia. The third person pronoun gymnastics already evident would put Nadia Comăneci in a back brace.

May I go on record as saying this is one of the stupidest damn things I’ve seen in many a year? Why are we all standing about admiring this guy? Look, I see no reason to condemn him. I don’t think he should be ostracized. But pitied? Hell yes! Admired? Not on your tintype, Lizzie. Where does this madness stop? Do we have to admire the idiots that mutilate their faces, adding in viewports in their cheeks, so we can see their teeth and gums? What about those who have tattoos that cover their faces? They need love too…and what about discrimination? Are we going to see lawsuits that force small business owners to hire people that have such witticisms as “THUG LIFE” tattooed across their foreheads, because we can’t discriminate against terminal stupidity? [Coming soon to a courtroom and headline near you.]

I suspect the LGBT war on logic, reason, and language has less to do about Bruce Jenner, and more to do with a desire to destroy gender roles, so that ‘anything goes.’ They are already demanding an end to gender identification on birth certificates. Soon, third person pronouns will be called “a quaint relic of the 20th Century’s obsession with defining gender roles.” (Bet on it.)

I’m fed up. Look if Bruce want’s to have his penis surgically removed, his balls cut off, and a surgeon fashion a vagina out of what’s left, that’s up to him. But don’t expect me to call him a woman, call him “Caitlyn” or erase his history as a man and revise everything he did into what she did, Wikipedia not withstanding. Ginger Rodgers may have done everything Fred Astaire did, but did it walking backwards, in heels. But Bruce Jenner won the gold medal as a guy. Not a girl. And whacking off his wackadoodle 40 years or so after he won the gold isn’t ever gonna change that. It’s his life and his body. But I draw the line when he and his LGBT goon squad try and tell me how to think. I don’t think he needed a sex change. I think he needed help. And it’s sad he didn’t get it.

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