The Hardest Working Man in Merchandising.

The Godfather of Soul. Sort of. James Brown’s dead and gone (may he rest in peace), but his fame lives on. Which would be fine, except that now his estate is selling off his memorabilia, in order to satisfy some of his debts. That’s a shame, because I think it cheapens his memory. Now, Brown was certainly an eccentric at times, but he was undeniably an important figure, both musically, and racially. (Few remember in light of the almost self-parody he became later in life, how he actively worked to diffuse racial tensions in the early 60’s.) In the spirit of keeping his spirit – and his sense of humor – alive, I have an idea for his widow(s) and kids.

The James Brown Alarm Clock.

Pause with me for a nanosecond, and consider the idea. It would be a simple thing to put together. A G.I. Joe-sized James Brown figurine, in trademark cape, microphone in hand, sweat glistening on his brow. A small digital clock in the base, with one gigantic snooze button. When the alarm goes off you hear the Godfather of Soul wail his immortal “Waaahuh!” “Waaahuh!” “Waaahuh!” “Waaahuh!” “Waaahuh!” until you shut it off.

It would get ME up, I can promise. And I’d buy one.

So…James Brown estate…where do I order?

Leave a Reply