Banking on Intelligence.

My wife is a brilliant woman. One day I was casting about for a creative idea to use as the nucleus of a website demo, and I asked her for some ideas. (I was stumped.) Out of the blue, she said, “why don’t you create a bank for intelligence?”


In a flash, the whole thing hit me. It was a “V-8 moment” if ever I had one. [side note: A friend once started to tell me about a sketch he’d seen the night before, watching “In Living Color” with two guys in a phone booth, as the “Homeboy Shopping Network.” He didn’t have to say anything else – I could see/hear the entire routine in my mind’s eye. This was the same kind of experience.

We immediately started riffing back and forth about the idea, each of us building on it, making it more detailed – and more ridiculous with every suggestion. Here’s the result of her brainstorm:


What is Intelligent Bank & Brain Trust?
Intelligent Bank & Brain Trust is a radically different concept in banking. At IB&BT (or as we like to call it, iBank) we don’t deal in dollars and cents, but in ideas and sense. We traffic in IQ, so you don’t have to. Here’s how it works:

Many people find themeselves burdened by excess intelligence. Carrying around all that capacity and knowledge can be a burden. At iBank, we’re here to help. Simply open up a convenient iBank IQ Checking account, and deposit your excess intelligence (we recommend retaining a minimum of 60 IQ points, as “walking-around” power). Any time you need a little extra brainpower, simply whip out your checkbook and write a check to cover the difference. But wait…there’s more. What if you find yourself with an intelligence deficit? All iBank IQ accounts offer overdraft protection, where you can actually draw on more common sense than you have available in your account!

Think of the advantages…at a loss for words? Simply write a check to cover the problem. Need a little extra help on an exam? An iBank check is a guaranteed “A+.” Find yourself in a compromising situation? iBank can give you the extra brainpower you need to concoct the mother of all excuses.

Need proof? Listen to this testimonial from one of our satisfied customers:

    Ya know, as the former leader of **************, I had a lot of power. But power can only get you so far. When I got caught in a compromising situation with a staffer, I thought I was sunk. I even got caught lying to a grand jury! I mean I’d told some whoppers before, but nobody’d ever really challenged me. Frankly, I’d gotten cocky. I thought the world was my humidor, if you know what I mean. But then, I got caught. Who did I turn to? iBank. They could feel my pain! Now, I’m here to tell you that their services are not cheap – but for the job they did, it was worth it at twice the price. (Besides – I didn’t pay for it…the people did.) They got me outta hock with the Senate, my wife, and kept me in office. Listen, Slick – if you need a little intellectual help, I highly recommend the folks at iBank. Tell ’em “Willie” sent ya!

    Name withheld by request

You may well ask, how can we do it? Simple. We pool our intelligence in our Brain Trust department. This impressive capacity for intelligent thought is regularly called on by captains of industry, foreign governments, and leaders of the free world. Through this pooling process, we have created what has become the world’s largest for-profit brain trust.

So when you’re ready to invest your ideas in a place that helps them earn interest, contact iBank. We’re here to help.


One of these days, I’ll have the time and energy to market this idea, in all it’s glory.

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