Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Technology

Patently Ridiculous.

Can we stop for a moment and talk about patents? I’m a creative guy. Over the years I’ve come up with any number of creative ideas. Some of them could/should be protected, intellectual property. Some were just great ideas. As a creative guy, I’m generally in favor of some kind of protection for those who come up with some useful new invention. On the other hand, I’m for the immediate dissolution of the U. S. Patent Office, and the creation of a new agency that understands what in the HELL they are doing.

Here’s the deal. Let’s say you invent something. Nobody ever thought of it before. It’s useful. It’s cool. You don’t want somebody to steal your idea, so you apply for a patent. Your product takes off. You make millions. At some point, your patent runs out, and everybody and their cat decides to market a me-too product, turning your product from a unique gadget into a commodity. You resign yourself to make less money.

This is how patents are supposed to work. [Read more…] about Patently Ridiculous.

Bugs.

bugs.
I’m working on a BIG project in Flash right now. Flash used to be this really simple little animation program. Not any more. It now has a full-blown, object-oriented programming language (ActionScript) that is based on JavaScript. I’m trying to bend some code to my will. So far, the code is winning. It’s not a pretty sight. I am reminded of what some incredibly perceptive individual once said:

If debugging is the act of removing bugs from software, then programming must be the act of putting bugs into the code.”

My second thought for the day is:

If architects designed buildings the way programmers design code, the first termite to come along would end civilization as we know it.

And now…back to the salt mines.

Standards.

The IBM PS/2.I once worked for Mark Cuban. Seriously. Back in Dallas, long before he was the outspoken owner of the Dallas Mavericks, he was the outspoken owner of a company called MicroSolutions – a computer dealer. (He later sold Microsolutions and started RadioNet/Broadcast.com, became a billionaire and bought the Mavs, but that’s a different story.) Anyway, when I worked for Mark, I was the “desktop publishing specialist” for MicroSolutions. (The very words “desktop publishing” should give you some idea about how long ago this was.) When IBM renounced the standards they’d created with the PC and AT boxes and released the then-new “PS/2” computers, a bunch of us were sent to IBM’s Dallas HQ for training. As the DTP specialist, I was particularly keen to learn about IBM’s “desktop publishing solution.” [Read more…] about Standards.

Confessions of a Car Dealer Advertiser.

Okay. I admit it. For a year and a half, I created ads for car dealerships.

It’s funny. When I began writing and directing car ads, I quickly discovered that there are reasons that most car dealers have ads that…how can I put this delicately…um…bite.

First of all, the budget for car ads is about $300. That covers talent, videography, post-production, and everything from script to screen. That’s not much money, and it doesn’t allow for much in the way of wiggle room for talent, props, sets, or anything else.

Next, let’s add to this mix the fact that most car dealers want to use their sales staff in the commercials. It’s been my experience that most sales reps aren’t really comfortable in front of the camera. And it shows. Lastly, lets examine the “we’ve always done it this way” phenonmenon as it applies to car ads. The industry mantra is that the manufacturer sells the car, the dealer association sells the promotion, and the dealer sells the deal. That’s why you see dealers running ads that show one or more vehicles with payments or “off-MSRP” pricing, instead of ads that try to convince you why you should deal with a specific dealer. [Read more…] about Confessions of a Car Dealer Advertiser.

WHAT was Jeep thinking?

Jeep® Commander

Full disclaimer: I’m a Jeep guy. I drive a Wrangler. Don’t want to drive anything else. Between my wife and I, we’ve owned four Jeeps. I also used to work for an in-house ad agency that had several DCX dealerships – two of them sold Jeeps. I love ’em. So it is with a degree of puzzlement, chagrin, and concern that I ask, what were they thinking with this latest TV ad? [Read more…] about WHAT was Jeep thinking?

Who is Captain Digital?

What is this all about? Simple. I’m a marketing guy/graphic designer/copywriter/animator/whatever. As you might expect with all those “/” in my vocations, I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things. Mostly marketing and advertising, but we may wander ocasionally. Check back here for random thoughts on the state of marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, and (un)common sense.