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Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Children with Toys.

Giving young actors a budget of a couple of million dollars and telling them to go make a movie is a lot like giving a four-year-old a pair of scissors and telling them to practice those naiscent running skills…the results are not gonna be pretty. Allowing some actors a budget to make the political equivalent of potty jokes (in one case, quite litterally) is just completely irresponsible.

David “I married Courtney Cox so you don’t have to” Arquette and his ex-Friends wife have created a little opus they call “The Tripper.” It’s a fun-loving story about some Really Earnest Hippies who encounter a derranged psychopath who likes to dress up like President Ronald Reagan, mimic his voice, use his one-liners…and chop people to death with an axe. Um…yeah.

Watching some bad movies, you think, “Wow…this musta seemed funny on paper…I wonder what happened.” Not this turkey. What I wonder is what movie exec lost his job for greenlighting this abomination. [Read more…] about Children with Toys.

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Empire of Lies; Book of Truth.

I’ve always loved to read. It’s relaxing. I read a lot – mostly tech books, but I try to read some recreationally, both to relax and to expand my horizons. I was watching Glenn Beck on Headline News a couple of weeks ago, and he had author Andrew Klavan on, pitching his latest, Empire of Lies. Sounded interesting, so I filed it away to a slot on my list of “books I want to read.” This past week, I thought about the book, but had a hard time remembering the name or the author. It finally dawned on me that I could use Amazon’s “if you like this book you might also like” feature to find it. Sure enough, I was able to remember the general look of the cover. I’m not always into instant gratification, but for some reason, I really wanted to read this, and I had some time on my hands, so… [Read more…] about Empire of Lies; Book of Truth.

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NEWSFLASH: Obama worshiper exposed as loon.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder around here in Amarillo (Centrally Located Between Two Oceans!™), it did. Mrs. Digital was at a local supermarket a few minutes ago, and some Obama supporter when all Zsa-Zsa Gabor on her. That’s right. My significant other was wearing the tshirt you see pictured to the left (available online, by the way, through my wife’s company, www.vectorright.com), minding her own business, when some raving loon…um, I mean “Obama supporter” walked up to her and said “Bitch!” and proceeded to slap her, open handed, across her face. Keep in mind, this was not at some seedy “Stop ‘n Rob” drive up convenience store. Nope. This happened at what is by all accounts, the nicest, most up-scale grocery store in Amarillo.

Immediately, my wife was surrounded by other customers, and the manager ran over to offer his assistance. He asked if my wife wanted him to call the police. My wife is one tough cookie, and (she told me whilst recounting the event) figured that the police have better things to do, so she declined his offer. The manager then escorted the woman who assaulted my wife out of the store. [Read more…] about NEWSFLASH: Obama worshiper exposed as loon.

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There’s only two things I don’t like about liberal pundits…

…their face.

(For those of you that are liberals, that’s a reference to being two-faced.) You see, for as long as I can remember, Liberals have owned the franchise on demographic groups like “feminists,” “soccer moms,” “working moms,” and “women who want to break through glass ceilings.” Then came Sarah Palin.

Pwned.

Even though I expected Liberals go go appoplectic over Palin, I figured they’d be smart enough to stop short of hypocrisy when they turned the attack dogs of war her direction. I was wrong. We’re seeing little bon mots like this: [Read more…] about There’s only two things I don’t like about liberal pundits…

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Let me entertain you.

It dawned on me, as I was creating some ‘quickie’ bizcards, that I needed a website specific to the musician-side of my life. I’m a big believer in perception versus reality, and the reality is, people perceive a certain degree of “serious” in regards to an email address. If you want someone to take you seriously, a Gmail, Hotmail, or Yahoo address is not gonna cut the mustard. On the other hand, if you have your own domain name, it’s almost like instant street cred. So I bought bradkozak.com and set it up as a site dedicated to my singer/songwriter/entertainer biz. Of course, since I create websites for a living, it didn’t take but a couple of hours to throw together a website. (It took longer to get Mrs. Digital to help me with the photos, and to do the Photoshopping than it did to write the site code.) [Read more…] about Let me entertain you.

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The “Voice of God” has passed away…

I am sorry to report that Don LaFontaine, master voiceover artist, has passed away on Labor Day. He was 68.

I never met Don in person, but I had the opportunity to work with him on some TV spots, and I know his wife, Anita, well. (She’s from my hometown of Shreveport, LA, and my Dad wrote the arrangement she used of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to go to the Miss American paegant, as Miss Louisiana.)

By all accounts, everyone that knew Don called him a great guy. My cousin (who visited Don and Anita in California a bunch) tells me he was witty, with a wicked sense of humor, and not at all pompous or distant in the way that celebrities can be. I can attest personally to the fact that he was generous to a fault, and was willing to “put his money where his mouth is” when it comes to causes he would support.

It’s hard for me to think about Don in the past tense. While there are other voiceover artists that mimic’d Don’s style and delivery, there will never be another Don LaFontaine. My heart and prayers go out to Anita and their kids in what must be a very difficult time. Please keep them in your prayers.

In a world of advertising, where too few voiceover artists have the ability to create a distinctive sound, Don LaFontaine will be missed.

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Be vewwwy quiet…

Just got back from my annual sojourn to the upper portion of the Texas Panhandle, for a dove hunt. Now, I’m not a big hunter, mind you. It’s something that I like, but I’ve never really had the opportunity, I guess, to do a lot of it. I think I’ve been hunting, oh, maybe four or five times in my life. But this time was special. I had the opportunity to go hunting with a bunch of guys from my church, including the Vicar of our church and one of our Bishops. (If you’re curious, I bagged four doves…well…really 3 1/2, as with one I shared with one of the other hunters, as we shot it at the same time.) The experience left me tired, but also relaxed and happy. While (most of) the men of the church went a-hunting, the women of the church stayed home, and had a pool party. On the way home I pondered why men like hunting, and (most) women do not. [Read more…] about Be vewwwy quiet…

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Force of Nature.

In the world in which we live, it’s actually pretty easy to forget that nature trumps technology. For all our computers, machines, and other man-made paraphernalia, we still can’t control Mother Nature to any great extent. (Which, of course, is one of the things that makes me a hard-core skeptic over the man-made global warming thing – but that’s a topic for another time.) [Read more…] about Force of Nature.

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I love pundits.

A couple of quick observations…

  1. Pundits are often wrong. (See the last few weeks of coverage on “McCain’s pick for V.P.”
  2. Pundits are sheeple, too. (They don’t always think for themselves, and there’s a pecking order…an influential pundit will say something, and the under-pundits will immediately start echoing his opinions as their own.
  3. Pundits LOVE their own talking points…and hate having to answer questions that force them to abandon using the talking points as answers. [Read more…] about I love pundits.

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A couple of (probably stupid) ideas…

…courtesy of my liberal arts (i.e.: lack of science) education…

IDEA #1. Back in the days before central air conditioning and refrigeration made it possible to live comfortably through summers in the South, one enterprising entrepreneur floated a huge iceberg from the northern Atlantic down to the Gulf of Mexico. The purpose? Provide inexpensive ice for evaporative coolers, which at the time were the only way to cool a room. He made a fortune.

I understand from the sound-byte journalism on TV that the reason that tropical storms that cross into the Gulf become hurricanes is due to the warm waters in the Gulf. (It’s why the eco-Nazis try to convince us all that hurricanes are a lot worse due to ‘global warming.’) [Read more…] about A couple of (probably stupid) ideas…

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