Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Marketing, Advertising & Branding

A shameless plug.

VectorRight.comThis is a shameless plug for my wife’s company. I say this in the spirit of full disclosure. VectorRight.com sells conservative-themed merchandise (shirts, caps, bumper stickers, etc.) I did the design work for her on the front end, and all the tshirt and bumper sticker designs as well. There’s some free stuff there, too – a bunch of Photoshopped pictures that feature Bill, Hillary, and some other lefties. It’s a completely partisan site – forget “fair and balanced,” unless your idea of fair is that she’s got a site and there are probably a dozen liberal merch sites out there competing with her.

So if you’re in the mood to see some decidely politically INcorrect stuff that trashes the Left (as opposed to what you’re USED to seeing, where the Left trashes the Right but calls it “all in good fun” – go for it. And buy something. I don’t make a dime off it – I did all the work “pro bono” which is Latin for “Honey do” (if you know what I mean, and if you’re a married guy, you do). But in order to perserve a more perfect union (mine) I’d consider it a personal favor if you hit the site, looked around, and found something nice for the Conservatives in your life.

Water, water everywhere.

Smart WaterI like water. I like to drink a lot of it, as it is probably the only thing in my diet that tastes good, is good for me, and has zero calories. (Now if only they can come up with a zero calorie steak…)

Years ago, Robin Williams did a bit that went like, “Ooh…when I wanna blow a buck on a bottle of water, I buy Perrier!” That was back when buying water – any kind of water – seemed pretty stupid, as the stuff that came out of the tap tasted pretty good. I howled. Then I moved to Amarillo.

I don’t know what’s in the water up here, but whatever it is, it tastes foul and evidently fouls up your teeth. We still bathe in it (by necessity), but we’ve taken to buying water by the three-gallon jug, so our teeth won’t fall out. [Read more…] about Water, water everywhere.

An open (“Dear John”) letter to Microsoft.

Dear Microsoft,

Another winner from Redmond. Remember?This is a difficult letter for me to write. We’ve been together for a long time – really since 1987. Oh, sure, we flirted before that, with Word DOS, but our relationship really became serious with the release of Windows 1.0. You had to know the level of my commitment to our relationship…I mean, after all, back in 84 when I bought my first PC, I had a choice even back then – an 8086 PC or a Mac. For me it was simple. A PC gave me more bang for my buck – the Mac was cute, but seemed more expensive toy than a real, working computer. Back then, it was like dating a foreign exchange student – I did my best to learn your language, ever hopeful you’d even try and learn mine. (I’m probably a handful of people that remember the painful joke that was EDLIN.) [Read more…] about An open (“Dear John”) letter to Microsoft.

Goin’ Digital.

I love photography. I have since I was a kid. Back then, the big barrier to entry was the hassle and price of developing film and getting prints. This struck me this morning, because I was asked by my daughter to take pictures of her for a school project. She protested a couple of shots, feeling as if she wasn’t ready for the shutter to snap. I explained to her, that it didn’t matter – I could take as many pictures as we needed to get the right shot – the bad pics would simply be deleted. [Read more…] about Goin’ Digital.

The Language of Advertising.

I love advertising. There. I said it. I’d rather watch a great ad than just about anything. A 30-second national ad has roughly the same budget, acting quality, directing quality, and production quality of a 30-minute sitcom. A well-crafted 30-second spot tells a short story, with a plot, characters, story arc, and everything else you expect in good communication. Oh, and it sells something. Usually. (Some advertisers forget to sell a product, and some forget to tell a compelling story, but I’m speaking here of GOOD commercials.
[Read more…] about The Language of Advertising.

Hunting Pwospects!

Elmer Fudd & Prospect.Marketing – or more specifically, the “advertising” part of marketing – is a lot like hunting. In this case, you’re hunting prospects, and not rabbits, but the principles are the same. Hunters have, basically, two types of firearms from which to choose – shotguns and rifles. In marketing, most customers prefer the shotgun approach. Savvy marketers prefer rifles. Here’s why… [Read more…] about Hunting Pwospects!

2007 Jeep Wrangler: First Impressions

Wrangler_3

Let me start by saying that I’m not your typical “car guy.” I didn’t grow up with my hood under an engine, and I’m not an expert in all things automotive. I did spend a couple of years working in automobile advertising, and I’ve owned twelve vehicles over my adult life, three of which have been Jeep products. I drive – a lot – and I know what I like. Those are my qualifications. Don’t look to me to talk about gear ratios, drag coefficients, and other arcane topics. I just wanna know if the vehicle drives well, handles well, is well-made, and will suit my purpose. That having been said… [Read more…] about 2007 Jeep Wrangler: First Impressions

Banking on Intelligence.

My wife is a brilliant woman. One day I was casting about for a creative idea to use as the nucleus of a website demo, and I asked her for some ideas. (I was stumped.) Out of the blue, she said, “why don’t you create a bank for intelligence?”

Wow.

In a flash, the whole thing hit me. It was a “V-8 moment” if ever I had one. [side note: A friend once started to tell me about a sketch he’d seen the night before, watching “In Living Color” with two guys in a phone booth, as the “Homeboy Shopping Network.” He didn’t have to say anything else – I could see/hear the entire routine in my mind’s eye. This was the same kind of experience. [Read more…] about Banking on Intelligence.

Un-branding.

The UN-Martin guitar
Okay, here’s the deal. I’ve just returned from a music store today, where I had an experience that I can only describe as unreal. I saw a brand commit suicide, right before my very eyes. Allow me to explain.

In addition to being a marketing guy, I’m also a professional musician. One of the instruments I play is the acoustic guitar. My brand of choice is C.F. Martin. Now, understand, I grew up in the music business. I took up guitar in my early 20s – well after I turned pro, as a drummer. I quickly grew to love the guitar, and went from a pretty nice “starter” instrument (a Yairi) to a Guild (which turned out to be a complete piece of crap) to what became my “ultimate” guitar – a C.F. Martin. I’ve owned several Martins, in the time I’ve been playing. My current instrument is a beautiful HD-35, with herringbone trim, and a three-piece, bookmatched rosewood back. It is a truly wonderful instrument. In those days, Martin made guitars so well, that they used a fixed truss rod in the neck. It couldn’t be adjusted, because you never needed to adjust it. It just worked. Years later, Martin bowed to pressure from those that valued user control over craftsmanship, and began selling instruments with adjustable truss rods. I was sad to hear it, because it took away the edge that made Martin a brand apart. [Read more…] about Un-branding.