Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Valentines® Day™ (New! Improved!)

Another Valentines Day is upon us. Pardon me whilst I reflect on Valentines Day, commercialism, holidays, and The Meaning Of It All.

I’m not a big “holiday” guy. I like Christmas. Thanksgiving’s okay. I’m partial to Independence Day, since it bookends my birthday. The rest of them seem to be somehow second-tier. Also-rans. Valentines Day was big when I was a kid, as it was an excuse to get hyped up on limitless amounts of candy. Big sugar rush. As I grew older, I realized that Valentines Day (like New Years) was society’s excuse to force you to keep score, relationship-wise. As an adult male, if you were in a serious relationship, Valentines Day is the time you are forced to Be Romantic™ and Do Something Special™ for your significant other. The evil cabal of retailers/media/peer pressure combines to force you to treat this day as sacrosanct. [Read more…] about Valentines® Day™ (New! Improved!)

Tag. You’re it.

Okay, kids, lets talk about hardening of the institutional arteries for a moment, shall we? In business, it seems much of what any industry does is due to inertia – or in plain English “because that’s the way it’s always been done.” Let us turn our attention to the lowly clothing tag, for an example of inertia in action.
<p>Garment tags are generally made of nylon. Why? They weren’t ALWAYS made that way, because clothing tags date back to well before the invention of nylon. Prior to that, I suppose tags were made of silk, and nylon is a much cheaper substitute. From about the 1940s on, however, nylon garment tags have been the standard. </p> [Read more…] about Tag. You’re it.

the Advertising Bowl.

Color me dissapointed. Years removed from the glory days of the dot-com ads, the Super Bowl AdverFest did NOT deliver. What we got were a bunch of derrivative (a nice word for stealing from yourself) ads from Bud, CareerBuilder.com, Pizza Hut, and Pepsi. What we didn’t get were fresh, interesting ideas that would give us all something to talk about around the water cooler today. This year, the game was really more interesting than the ads. Sad.

Devaluing Entertainment.

I watched a little bit of Dr. No on TV tonight.

That, in and of itself, is certainly unremarkable. But stay with me for a sec. I think I’m on to something.

When I was a kid, there were three channels on the (black and white) TV. There were, I think, two or three movie theatres in my hometown (Shreveport, LA) and probably a bunch of drive-ins. If you wanted to see a movie, you waited until it was released in your area, then you went to the theatre to see it. You probably went right after it opened, because there was no way to know how long a flick would play at the local (single-screen) theatre. If you didn’t catch it in the theatre, you MIGHT be able to see it at a drive-in – they largely subsisted on second-run and B-movie fare. [Read more…] about Devaluing Entertainment.

Bank on it.

Banks are out of control. I thought my cell phone company was bad with hidden charges in every nook and cranny, but my bank has them beat. My (current, soon to be former) bank has instituted a charge for using an ATM, should you try and get more money out than you have in your account. Let’s consider the logic behind this one. Say, it’s the end of the month, and your spousal unit paid the bills, leaving less in the account than you expected. You are a little short of cash and stop by your friendly neighborhood ATM to get some walking around money, for those little luxuries like gasoline and food. You pop in your card and are instructed that by pressing “YES” you are giving the owner of the ATM permission to ding your account for a couple of bucks for the priviledge of using their machine. Not fun, but you’re used to it. You then click on “withdrawl” and choose $100. Not so fast, bucko. Your significant other left just $95 in the account. Payday is in two days. Now what do you think happens? In a fair and equitable world, you’d see the screen tell you, “whoops…you’ve asked for more than you’ve got…would you like to get a ballance so you can take what you need without getting an overdraft?” But no. With B of A, what you get is a SERVICE CHARGE FOR ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OUT MORE THAN YOU HAVE ON HAND.

Pause with me for a nanosecond.

[Read more…] about Bank on it.

Target-ed.

targeted
A lot has been written recently over the “Merry Christmas” thing…how a number of large companies decided to go “PC” and erase any reference to “Christmas” from their advertising and interaction with customers. Target is one of those companies that opted for “Happy Holidays.”

This post is NOT about that issue.

[Read more…] about Target-ed.

What’s in a Name?

IBM. GM. AT&T. GE. Sound familiar? They are. These are all companies that qualify as “Captains of Industry.” And with good reason. They’re huge, they’re successful, and they have vast amounts of “mindshare.” But when you are naming your company – or your product – do you want to try acronyms or meaningless bunches of letters?

Here’s the deal. All the companies listed above were once companies known by real names. International Business Machines. General Motors. American Telephone & Telegraph. General Electric. They were able to move to letter designations because the public began referring to these companies with that form of shorthand, and it stuck. (FedEx was “Federal Express” long before it was “FedEx”.) If you expect to get the same milage out of two or three letters, you’d best build up some brand equity and mindshare with a name that means something, before you attempt to get a few letters to be instantly and irrevocably associated with your name.

While we’re on the subject, I can let you in on a little secret I know…the secret to coming up with a great name. [Read more…] about What’s in a Name?

Lingere. Logic. And Lightbulbs.

Um...yeah.

Are you a woman? If not, do you know any women? Let me put this another way…are you a woman (or do you know any women) who, from time to time, buy…um…undergarments? Well, if so, I have an idea that might make that experience a little easier (for the women, anyway). And less painful for the men in their lives. Because is mama ain’t happy…

Here’s the deal. Most women have, shall we say, “strong feelings” about the experience of buying underwear. And if by “strong feelings” you understand me to mean “hate with a passion usually reserved for recent ex-boyfriends, root canals, and income tax audits” then we’re on the same page. Yes, fellow males of the world, women HATE to shop for underwear. Now I’m sure that there are SOME women out there who don’t hate it. We have a name for such women. We call them “Victoria’s Secret Runway Models.” But, I digress…

[Read more…] about Lingere. Logic. And Lightbulbs.

Directorial Excess.

King Long.I watched a lot of movies over the holidays. I’m a movie fan. At one time, I’d watch almost anything, just to try and learn something about telling a story visually. I’d even watch a bad movie, just to see how truly bad it could get. (For the record, the worst movie I ever voluntarily sat through on my own dime was Gas, a little comedy opus on the gas crisis of the 70’s. I don’t think Donald Sutherland put THAT one on his resume.)

But, I digress. As I’ve studied editing, lighting, directing, screenwriting, scoring and so forth, I’ve been struck by how some movies can go so very wrong. I’m also struck by the fact that good directors are allowed to bend the rules of storytelling, because of studio indulgence – and how bad directors keep getting hired to helm movies they have no business directing. [Read more…] about Directorial Excess.

A Captive Audience.

This is the FBI. We're here to annoy you. I don’t watch a lot of movies any more. I used to. There was a time that I’d go see 10 or 12 movies in a month, if I could. It would be easy to explain away my change in habit…I’m married, I’ve got a young daughter, my wife doesn’t like theatres (she doesn’t like the volume cranked up), theatre audiences are rude, tickets are too expensive, and on and on. But None of that explains why I don’t rent a lot of movies. No, I don’t have HBO, Skinemax, or Stars at home. In fact, I’ve got the equivalent of “expanded basic” on my satelite dish. Nope, the reason is the way movie studios choose to burn their DVDs. Strange, you say? Read on… [Read more…] about A Captive Audience.