Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.
I love jokes. And I thank God for blonde jokes…for you can repurpose almost any ethnic joke that picks on someone for being dense, make the subject “blonde” and, voilà! – it’s no longer politically incorrect.
Of course, in Texas, we have Aggie Jokes. (If you’re not from here, you won’t get it.)
While I have my own favorites, here is a link to one that is arguably the best blonde joke ever.
Enjoy!
Are you a woman? If not, do you know any women? Let me put this another way…are you a woman (or do you know any women) who, from time to time, buy…um…undergarments? Well, if so, I have an idea that might make that experience a little easier (for the women, anyway). And less painful for the men in their lives. Because is mama ain’t happy…
Here’s the deal. Most women have, shall we say, “strong feelings” about the experience of buying underwear. And if by “strong feelings” you understand me to mean “hate with a passion usually reserved for recent ex-boyfriends, root canals, and income tax audits” then we’re on the same page. Yes, fellow males of the world, women HATE to shop for underwear. Now I’m sure that there are SOME women out there who don’t hate it. We have a name for such women. We call them “Victoria’s Secret Runway Models.” But, I digress…
I’m not big on getting even. The older I get, the more pointless it seems. Even though I’m a Christian (and proud to be one, thank you very much), there’s something in me that believes in at least the possibility of “karma” – the “what goes around, comes around” theory of the universe. At a fundamental level, we obey laws because we know that if we don’t, something bad will (eventually) happen to us. For some people, their personal moral code keeps them on the straight and narrow. For others, it’s the knowledge that the police will, sooner or later, catch you if you do something wrong. For some, it’s the fear of the condemnation by their peers. [Read more…] about Getting Even.
In January 2006, The “King of All Media” (a.k.a. Howard Stern) moves his blue humor act from terrestrial radio to Sirius satellite radio.
Yawn.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to hold my breath that Sirius is going to see some huge uptick in sales, as Stern-iacs sign up for satelite radio to get their daily fix. (A) I don’t care, and (B) I know something Sirius doesn’t.
Consider parents with a youngster who suddenly discovers that he can get a rise out of his parents when he uses a “bad” word. What happens? Well, in my family, the child is told “we don’t approve of that kind of language.” If the language persists, the punishment begins. Eventually (even in families that equate a lack of discipline with “loving” the child) the novelty of the bad word wears off. Eventually, the child must either give up, or look for an even more shocking word. Eventually, even that falls flat, and the child has nothing left to do for an encore.
Pause with me for a nanosecond.
Back when you could get any kind of phone you liked, as long as it was connected to a wall and was provided by Ma Bell, phone service was simple. It just always worked. The industry calls it “the 5 nines,” meaning your POTS (Plain Old Phone System) line is expected to work 99.999% of the time. Through power outages. Through storms. Through just about anything. And if it DID go down, you could be sure that it would be working again ASAP. Those boys didn’t fool around. [Read more…] about The Five Nines.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Details at 11. – Reuven Frank
Here’s something interesting to try, the next time you watch the local evening news. Get a stopwatch and time the newscast. Write down the number of minutes taken up by commercials, the actual news stories, and the time they spend teasing the news/weather/sports. I think you’ll be amazed at how little time is spent on the subject matter, and how much time they waste on teasing the next story. [Read more…] about The News has gotten to be SUCH a tease…
What is this all about? Simple. I’m a marketing guy/graphic designer/copywriter/animator/whatever. As you might expect with all those “/” in my vocations, I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things. Mostly marketing and advertising, but we may wander ocasionally. Check back here for random thoughts on the state of marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, and (un)common sense.