Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Current Events, Society & the Law

O.J. (Karmically speaking.)

Karma. What goes around comes around. Fate. Call it what you will, it looks as if Orinthal Julius Simpson has finally gotten what he deserves. I’m not sure if the time he’ll serve is more severe because of his infamy over beating the rap for murdering his wife and a waiter. It could be that he’ll serve less time, because he’s famous. In this case, I doubt it, because he already used his “Get out of Jail FREE” card he was issued due to his fame. Nope, I think he’s getting what he’s gotten, at least partially because he got off scott-free before. Not just that – he got off, and then spent the intervening years searching for his wife’s “real” killer on the nation’s finest golf courses.

Give me a break. [Read more…] about O.J. (Karmically speaking.)

What does “American-Made” mean?

The Big Three schlep back up on Capitol Hill, hats in hand, massaging the road sores they got from actually driving from Detroit to D.C., where they will beg for bucks once again. They are in hopes that their performance will be a lot more convincing – not to mention, vastly less tone-deaf – than their last appearence. In the meantime, we’re treated to a parade of concerned Senators and Representatives who wail that, without an immediate bailout, The American Automobile Industry Will Come To An End As We Know It.™

Hogwash.

In order to understand why, you have to grok that there are really TWO American automobile industries – the traditional one in Detroit, and the one that exists everywhere else. [Read more…] about What does “American-Made” mean?

The Paradox Effect.

This perception versus reality thing is rearing it’s ugly head again in regards to the Presidency. Just about every conservative pundit and blogger out there (myself included) looked at Obama’s record in the Illinois legislature and U.S. Senate (what record there was) and assumed that he would immediately make good on his campaign promise to bring our troops home from Iraq immediately. He promised to be a different kind of politician, putting together an administration that did not represent Washington insiders, but outsiders, with new, fresh, progressive ideas. 

I don’t know that I’ve ever been more comforted to discover that Obama is the same old kind of mendacious, obfuscating, say-anything-to-get-elected-and-then-do-what-you-have-to-no-matter-what-you-promised brand of politician. In short, Obama lied. He gave every indication that he was going to tilt our defense and homeland security hard to the left. In fact, if we can judge future performance by his cabinet nominees, he’s going straight to the center, bypassing a main course of “dove” with a healthy serving of “hawk.”

Thank God. [Read more…] about The Paradox Effect.

Defining what’s “essential.”

Barack Obama, from his podium deep inside The Office of the President-Elect (?!), announced today that his administration would conduct a full and complete review of every government program, determine which ones we need – and which ones we don’t – and then cut funding to everything that’s not essential.

Bravo!

I’ve frankly been waiting for someone in power to do that for years. I’ve advocated a zero-based budget process since the Clinton years. It’s encouraging to hear the President-Elect talk about doing just that.

There’s just one, teensie, tiny little ol’ problem.

Who defines what’s “essential,” and what’s not? [Read more…] about Defining what’s “essential.”

A(n im)Modest Proposal.

Jonathan Swift, 1667 – 1745

Jonathan Swift, 1667 – 1745

With apologies to Jonathan Swift, I have my own modest proposal for the Bailout Bucks Sweepstakes. 

 

I think the government should write me a check. (And every other taxpayer for that matter.) 

Think of it this way…if the government is going to start bailing out every Tom, Dick and CEO, why not me? And you? I run a small ad agency in Amarillo. Like most people today, money’s tight. I have bills to pay. Fortunately, I didn’t do anything dumb like buy a house out of my price range, or rack up a huge debt for capital equipment I couldn’t afford. But because of some unexpected expenses (medical, family, business), I’ve got very little cushion left. We did all the right things – saved every penny we could, made extra house payments when we could, stopped buying non-essential things. Still, it doesn’t take much to shoot one giant hole in our savings parachute. Mind you, I’m not whining or complaining. At all. In fact, I think we are some of the lucky ones. Mrs. Digital and I are gainfully employed. We have a roof over our heads, and food in the refrigerator. We are self-reliant, and if we screw up, we’ve got nobody to blame but ourselves. 

So here’s my plan… [Read more…] about A(n im)Modest Proposal.

Wanna hear something REALLY scary?

News item:

Zogby Poll: Almost No Obama Voters Ace Election Test

Released: November 18, 2008

UTICA, New York — Just 2% of voters who supported Barack Obama on Election Day obtained perfect or near-perfect scores on a post election test which gauged their knowledge of statements and scandals associated with the presidential tickets during the campaign, a new Zogby International telephone poll shows.

 

Only 54% of Obama voters were able to answer at least half or more of the questions correctly. [Read more…] about Wanna hear something REALLY scary?

Car-mageddon Update.

The CEOs are up on Capitol Hill, hats in hand, begging for small change. $85 Billion in change, to be exact. And the Big Three have marshaled the troops to hit all the news shows, declaring (in no uncertain terms) exactly why bankruptcy is not the answer, and why we MUST give them a “loan” to keep them afloat. Here are some unanswered questions – and oddly enough, for once they are the questions that some in Congress are actually asking the Big Three honchos: [Read more…] about Car-mageddon Update.

Motor City Madness.

Let’s get one thing straight. I love American cars. My wife and I both drive Jeeps. While Mrs. Digital has, on occasion, driven a rice-burner, I have never owned anything but an American automobile. On the other hand, I think that American automobile manufacturers management is clueless, the Unions are parasitical, their boards of directors are derelict in their duties, and the whole thing needs to have one giant hycolonic, so it can be reformed into something that is once-again a shining example of American know-how and productivity.

Lord knows, it’s miles away from that today. [Read more…] about Motor City Madness.

You need to see this.

I’m not in the habit of endorsing products or companies. For a couple of reasons. First, it’s not like people are looking at me as if I’m the Great White Hope to dethrone the Oprah-centric world. Second, I like to think that people should make up their own minds as to how good a product might be. And Third, if you’re gonna buy my endorsement, my price is pretty high (a chalet in the Swiss Alps) and frankly, nobody’s been willing to meet my price (as of yet…I’ll let you know).

That not withstanding, a catalog came across my desk the other day, and I can’t help but to recommend it to you, my loyal readers. [Read more…] about You need to see this.

Where will it all end?

I’m a big fan of Gilbert & Sullivan. In their immortal operetta, The Gondoliers, the ingeneue’s father, the Duke of Plaza-Toro (Count Matadoro, Baron Picadoro), realizes that being a member of the nobility is at odds with his current, destitute state of affairs. His novel solution was to apply for by the public under the Limited Liability Company Act. In American terms, that means he “went public,” offering shares in his Dukedom on the stock exchange. If Gilbert & Sullivan were alive today, I’m sure they’d write The Gondoliers II – The Baratarian Pirates Strike Back, where they’d script the Duke in debt once again, applying to the government for a bailout.

First it was the mortgage companies.

Then the insurance companies.

Next it was the automobile companies.

Now the credit card companies step up for a handout.

Will somebody please tell me where this governmental largess (with OUR friggin’ money!) will end? [Read more…] about Where will it all end?