BEIJING—A spokesperson for the People’s Republic of China today announced that Beijing will be the future home of the Biden Presidential* Library.
“We are pleased to donate a tract of land adjacent to the Imperial City in Beijing, for the planned tribute to your most glorious new Leader” said Hua Chunying, director of the Foreign Ministry Information Department of China. “As we all know, President* Harris will be soon taking over, but we do not know exactly when that will occur, it is prudent for us to begin plans for the Library now.”
After taking office in a military-style transfer of power using armed troops, with plans and logistics borrowed from the Red Chinese, the Biden administration gratefully accepted the offer. “This signifies the strengthening of ties between the USA and China,” Press Secretary Jen Psaki stated in an official communique from the White House Press Room/Bunker. “We are aware of the depth and breadth of the President’s* support across America,” Psaki continued, “So we believe it best to erect the library where domestic terrorists will have to obtain both a passport and visa in order to damage the facility.”
The library, underwritten by a corporate donation from the Jergens Company, is expected to have a large research room, containing terabytes of disc space which will contain the voluminous, canonical collection of Biden’s Executive Orders, as well as a gift shop with a selection of scented shampoos.
“Ol’ Joe’s cranking ’em out, an average of three per day,” remarked former President Barack Obama. “Depending on how long he hangs on before Kamala replaces him, he could very well set a record, not only for Presidential executive orders, but for the amount of disk space needed to house them.” Obama added, “I’m jealous. Wish I’d thought of that.”
The outrage from the Right-wing AM radio hosts and the few remaining Conservative voices on FoxNews was predictable, but not well-covered in any credible media outlet targeting right-thinking Americans. As such, it was almost as if they had no comment on the announcement at all.
“If a Republican holds a press conference in the woods, but there are no reporters in attendance to hear it, do they actually make a sound?” asked Chunying. Despite this news, there was no comment from the White House on the proposals from Beijing to repurpose the FEMA camps into Conservative reeducation centers, or to repaint the White House in the ChiCom’s favorite shade of red.
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