The People v. Climate Change

To the Honorable Chief Justice John Roberts and the Honorable Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States of America:

If it please the court, we hereby submit this petition for an injunction to bind the United States Government from any activity in support of the concept of Climate Change, including, but not limited to, “cap and trade,” “carbon taxes,” “carbon emissions,” and “environmental impact,” either through legislation, executive action, or administrative regulations. We ask the court’s help, due to the fact that Climate Change (nee: “Global Warming,” nee: “Global Cooling”) is so clearly a religion, and therefore violates Article I of the United States Constitution prohibiting the establishment of religion and abridging freedom of speech or of the press. 

Clearly and undeniably, proponents of the Religion of Climate Change have used Congress, the Administrative branch, and the courts to enforce the tenets of their beliefs on others. It is also indisputable that they have, with malice aforethought, attempted to silence critics and abridge the freedom of speech of those who would speak out against this cult and their behaviors.

We ask for emergency relief, with an injunction against any further interference by the government on this religion’s behalf.

By definition, any religion shares common characteristics, these being a deity, prophets, one or more high priests, sacraments, and one or more holy scriptures, as well as priests or other ordained ministers, laypersons, and a congregation of believers. Organized religions also share two more characteristics – religious broadcasts and the condemnation of apostates. We will prove to the court that Climate Change conforms to this characterization, and is indeed a religion, by any reasonable metric.

• Climate Change’s deity is Gaia, more popularly known as “Mother Earth.”
• Among Climate Change’s prophets are Svante Arrhenius, Michael Mann, and James Lovelock.
• There are many high priests of Climate Change, but above all else stand Al Gore.
• The holy texts of Climate Change are many, but the book “Earth in the Balance” and the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” (both by Al Gore) stand out as two considered Holy Writ by believers.
• The priesthood of Climate Change is filled by researchers (funded by taxpayer dollars) and politicians (ditto).
• The laity of Climate Change is dominated by television news and commentary personnel, along with commentators and personalities, both on television and in print.
• Virtually any newscast from the mainstream media constitutes a religious broadcast.
• And the near-universal condemnation, criticism and personal attacks on those who dare stand up to the Climate Change believers are either characterized as “apostates,” “non-believers” or “sinners.”

In short, Climate Change IS a religion, and as a religion, the government is bound by the words of the first amendment of the Constitution and may not endorse or in any way force the adoption of such a religion on the people of the United States of America.

Respectfully submitted,

We the People