Are Progressives Schizophrenic?

I’m at an age where I value consistency. I view it as the opposite of hypocrisy. Now keep in mind, hypocrisy is an Equal Opportunity Destroyer – it strikes both Liberal and Conservative alike, with an equanimity only dreamt of by the EEOC. For every political scandal on the Left, I can cite you chapter and verse of one on the Right. But there’s one huge difference between the Left and the Right, when dealing with hypocrisy. Those on the Right tend to vilify those on the Left AND the Right, when they are caught, red-handed. Those on the Left seem to excuse the behavior of those on Team Lefty, while excoriating those on the Right. This requires some fairly impressive mental gymnastics on their part, with some contortions that would put Nadia Comaneci in traction. To wit…

[NOTE: for the purposes of this discussion, the terms “Liberal,” “Progressive” and “The Left” are used interchangeably.] Allow me to give you some examples here that will underscore the whole “of two minds” thing. For instance, Liberals tend to have an undying affection for Darwin, when it comes to “evolution.” Speak of “Creationism” or “Intelligent Design” and they’ll turn on you like rabid dogs, with cries of “Luddite” and “Simpleton.” But when it comes to business, the theory of “survival of the fittest” is an anathema. Venture capital companies like Bain Capital are vilified for maximizing profit and building strong companies at the expense of the weak ones. They prefer to believe that all jobs are created equal, and everyone should have not just equal opportunity, but equal success, irrespective of their productivity, creativity, or merchantability.

Progressives are against Capital Punishment, but for abortions. They will go on and on about how barbaric it is to put a man to death, some even going so far as to cite the Bible as reason that criminals should be allowed to live. When talk turns to abortions, they hide their Bibles and talk about a “right” to “freedom of choice,” railing against any and all who would point out that there’s not much difference in killing a fetus and a hardened criminal, save for the fact that the criminal deserves it, and the child-to-be is free from all but original sin.

Progressives stand firmly for freedom of speech – as long as it’s liberal speech. They’re mad for Maher and over the moon for Olbermann, explaining away their misogynistic mutterings, but let Rush Limbaugh point out that some “impoverished” Law student at Georgetown expects Uncle Sam to pick up the tab for her pre-marital/extra-marital sex, and he’s branded a thug and the GOP is cast as the heavies in a “War on Women.”

Need I go on?

There’s a term for that. Cognitive dissonance. It’s the process of trying to reconcile two facts that are in opposition and refuse to peacefully co-exist. Most Liberals I know employ a Reality Distortion Field to combat this problem. Based on how high they have to run them, nowadays, I’d wager they’re using more kilowatt hours per day than the last all-night kegger at Al Gore’s digs in Tennessee.

So I ask, quite reasonably, are Progressives schizophrenic? I ask, free from any tinge of sarcasm. But I’m fully-prepared for my liberal friends to descend upon me with verbal knives drawn, looking to blame me, rather than to look inside and see if my question is not only fair, but my premise accurate. These folks will be vying for the titles of “King Tut” and “Cleopatra” (King and Queen of de Nile. Heh.) But I doubt they’ll see the light. Or change. Especially given that the mainstream media constantly plays the role of “enabler.”

And so, with that, I’ll end this rhetorical exercise with a bit of doggerel:

Conservatives are Red,
Progressives are Blue,
Liberals are schizophrenic,
And Progressives are too.