Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

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Archives for 2012

See Obama. See Obama Run. And Run. And Run…

I cut my teeth on books like the McGuffy Reader. The Adventures of Dick and Jane were for the slow kids. But while I kind of leapfrogged most of the really little kids’ books, I made it a point to read to my daughter from the time she was born until the time she grew too old for me to entertain her with a bedtime story.

Today, kids’ books are increasingly politically-correct. And because so much of the publishing world leans left, increasingly politicized and polarized. Today, a trending topic on Twitter was #obamakidsbooks. Here are a selection of the better titles – ones that I hope and pray will never make it into print:

  • One Fish, Two Fish, Your Fish is My Fish
  • Fast and Furious George
  • The Indian in the Cupbord is Elizabeth Warren
  • Little Barack Scambo
  • The Little Engine That Couldn’t Without Federal Assistance.
  • My Little Crony
  • Heather Has Two Mommies Without Jobs
  • Solynderella
  • Green Jobs and Scams
  • Obama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Presidency
  • OH, The Debt You’ll Owe!
  • The Bain Mutiny
  • Oh, The Places Michelle Obama Will Go!
  • Green Lies and Scams
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Mom-Jeans
  • Are You There, Marx? It’s Me, Barack
  • Cloudy With a Chance of Foodstamps
  • The Taking Tree
  • Fun WIth Dick and Jane Living Under a Bridge
  • Harry Potter and the President’s Stoned
  • False Expectations
  • Where In the World are the Obamas
  • Goodnight, Democracy
  • LIttle Underwater House on the Prairie
  • Where the Taxing Things Are
  • Where the Red Ink Grows
  • Are You My Big Brother?
  • The Lying, The Witch and the War Chest
  • War on Little Women
  • Charlie and the Solar Panel Factory
  • SEIU and the Purple Crayon
  • Where the Sidewalk Ends (and other shovel-ready projects)
Now THAT’S Comedy

 

 


(In)Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Packaging Design

I am a creature of habit. I freely admit this, as it’s something I have in common with most people. Don’t believe me? Okay, riddle me this, Batman, when you go shopping at your local grocery emporium/supermarket/superstore, and you’re looking for a particular brand, what do you look for? If you’re like me (and millions of other homo sapiens), you’ll look for the color, general shape, and size of a package, in order to locate it quickly. This helps me find things and avoid a lengthy search. Now most things are (usually) pretty easy to find at my local Kroger or Walmart. But there are certain items that defy definition of what part of the store they should be found. Instant mashed potatoes, for instance. Some stores put ’em with the 3 minute rice. Some don’t. But as long as I can spot the big red box of Hungry Jack, I’m a happy camper. But my visual shorthand system has come under fire lately, from an unexpected source: marketers.  [Read more…] about (In)Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Packaging Design

Realigning Priorities on Memorial Day

With a late father who served proudly during WWII, and an (ex)stepson who’s an active duty Marine, I’m aware of what kinds of sacrifices men and women make, to serve our country in the military. Apparently, it’s easy for many Americans to forget just how important that service is, and exactly WHAT these brave men and women are fighting for. Let me make this very simple. They fight for our rights. Our right to disagree with our government. Our right to speak out about what we think. Our right to worship as we please – or not worship at all, if we so choose.Recently, a WWII veteran in Virginia made the national news, as he was threatened with legal action for erecting a 21-foot flagpole in front of his Virginia home, to fly an American flag. After his case received national attention, the pinheads with his homeowners association backed-down. They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble, had they simply done a little research into who this man was, and what he’d done in WWII. He passed away last month. I’m sure the homeowners association will waste no time in getting his flagpole removed. Which is a shame, for it should remain standing as a reminder of a great American and his sacrifice. Today I received an email from a friend, that detailed his story. I’d like to share it with you, here. [Read more…] about Realigning Priorities on Memorial Day

Are Progressives Schizophrenic?

I’m at an age where I value consistency. I view it as the opposite of hypocrisy. Now keep in mind, hypocrisy is an Equal Opportunity Destroyer – it strikes both Liberal and Conservative alike, with an equanimity only dreamt of by the EEOC. For every political scandal on the Left, I can cite you chapter and verse of one on the Right. But there’s one huge difference between the Left and the Right, when dealing with hypocrisy. Those on the Right tend to vilify those on the Left AND the Right, when they are caught, red-handed. Those on the Left seem to excuse the behavior of those on Team Lefty, while excoriating those on the Right. This requires some fairly impressive mental gymnastics on their part, with some contortions that would put Nadia Comaneci in traction. To wit… [Read more…] about Are Progressives Schizophrenic?

Teen Teachable Moments in (Louisiana) History.

Well, we (my 14-year-old daughter) and I just got back from Lake Charles, LA, where she competed in the Louisiana State Social Studies Fair. Well, “competed” isn’t exactly the right word. She entered. She did her best. She excelled. And she did not win. But for her to have “competed” would have required that they actually stage a competition, which, sadly, they did not. What they did do bears some explanation – and analysis. [Read more…] about Teen Teachable Moments in (Louisiana) History.

OMG! ¡Walmart Bribes Mexico! (In other news, water is still wet.)

I’m sitting in a nice little mom & pop coffee shop in the historic district of Lake Charles, LA, as I write this. I’m waiting on the judges to adjudicate the Louisiana Social Studies Fair state finals, where my daughter is competing with her project (The Birth of Jazz) for a prize. (Fingers crossed!) On the obligatory flat screen Gigundo-Vision TV that provides background noise to keep you from enjoying the peace and quiet of an otherwise cozy bistro, CNBC is all a-twitter about an investigation into alleged bribes paid by Walmart to the government of Mexico. But like with virtually every other story that involved a U.S.-based corporation in the news is that there’s more to this story – and less – than meets the eye.  [Read more…] about OMG! ¡Walmart Bribes Mexico! (In other news, water is still wet.)

Where do you get your ideas?

If I’ve heard that once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. And there’s no single – or right – answer to the question. Not trying to be difficult. I just really can’t tell you, because I don’t know. In this, I’m not alone. Most creative people have the same dilemma. But I divide ideas into two categories in my own work – revolutionary and evolutionary. I’ll use a recent project to explain what I mean.  [Read more…] about Where do you get your ideas?

When is Hate Speech Politically Correct?

I have a friend who’s had to change her name (and profile) on Facebook. She’s a Facebook friend. I’ve never met her, but from what she’s written, I admire her and enjoy reading her posts. If you read her stuff, you’d probably think of her in terms like “outspoken,” “Conservative,” “straightforward,” “no-nonsense” and “frank.” She doesn’t shilly-shally around. She speaks her mind. You can agree with her or disagree, but she has an opinion, and a right to express it. That’s one of the fundamental freedoms in America. Facebook has emerged as a kind of world-wide public town square, providing an e-Soapbox, enabling anybody who wants to share their views, to do so on a global stage. But the dark, ugly underbelly of Facebook is that they do nothing to prevent people who do not appreciate others’ opinions from making threats – even death threats – and frankly scaring the crap out of those who are just trying to express themselves online. That’s wrong. And it’s completely hypocritical, because it would seem that in the world of Facebook, there’s “bad” hate speech, and there’s hate speech that’s perfectly acceptable. Determining which is which evidently depends on which side of the political spectrum you occupy. [Read more…] about When is Hate Speech Politically Correct?

We’re From the Government…and We’re Here to Help.

Those have GOT to be the nine scariest words in the English language. I don’t know about you, but the less the government helps me, the happier I am. Why? because all that “free help” is never free. There’s a huge difference between “freedom” and “free.” With “Freedom,” I’m free to succeed – or fail. I’m free to decide what’s best for me. And I’m free to make smart choices or dumb ones. But the government is about to change all that. Welcome to the world Aldous Huxley envisioned in 1984 – only just shy of 30 years late.  [Read more…] about We’re From the Government…and We’re Here to Help.

There’s humor in all things. (Unless you’re a Liberal.)

So I’m innocently blogging along over on Facebook (http://facebook.com/captaindigital and http://facebook.com/captaindigitalspeaks) when I happen to post a funny story I heard from a fellow Conservative. Six or so friends of generally right-leaning viewpoints thought it was a howl. But one, ultra-left wing person of my acquaintance unloaded on me like a B-17 Flying Fortress over Dresden – with about as much tact. He resorted to the typical Liberal tactics (name-calling, Judas-goats, hyperbole, and other assorted nonsense) and ranted about how Conservatives are all wingnuts and idiots. (Somebody get this guy a mirror. Please.) But it occurred to me that there’s a fundamental inequality here – Conservatives can find the humor in a Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert (most of the time), even when they poke fun at Conservatives. But Liberals seem uniformly incapable of reciprocity. Why is that?  [Read more…] about There’s humor in all things. (Unless you’re a Liberal.)