D.C.: the Solomon Solution

Remember Solomon? For those of you who aren’t big Bible fans, Solomon was an Old Testament ruler – King of the Hebrews – who was renowned for his wisdom. In fact, the phrase “Wisdom of Solomon” indicates somebody that is very, very wise. King Solomon’s most famous decision was a ruling regarding a baby and dueling mothers. As the tale goes, one mother had rolled over in the night, accidentally smothering her newborn. To deal with her loss, she claimed that another woman’s baby was her own. In an era thousands of years before DNA, Solomon was asked to decide to which mother the living baby actually belonged.

Solomon considered the matter, interviewing both of the plaintiffs. His decision was to slice the baby in two, giving one half to each mother. The pretender readily agreed to the scheme, whereas the baby’s natural mother wailed in anguish at the plan.

Just for grins, let’s consider that wisdom against the issue in the national spotlight that concerns Washington D.C. You see, when the District of Columbia was originally created, it was designed to solve a problem that faced our founders, namely, which state would get to host the nation’s capitol. The answer was to create a new city from scratch, carving the land from both Maryland and Virginia – resulting in an autonomous region that would function only as a city, and not as a state.

The problem, of course, is that nobody stopped to think about those that might choose to live in D.C. Because D.C. is not a state, those that live in D.C. have no U.S. Senators or Representatives that represent them. (You could argue that every member of Congress represents them, but that dog no longer hunts it would seem.)

The residents of Washington D.C. occupy the far left of the political spectrum, and if it’s anything that the Left hates is a bunch of left-wing voters that can’t help them maintain a majority. They claim that it’s unconstitutional to prevent the citizens of Washington D. C. from having voting representation in the halls of Congress (they have Congressional reps – they just can’t vote). The Dems in Congress have proposed that they pass a bill that would change that, giving D.C. two Senators and one Representative.

As much as my heart bleeds for D.C. voters, there’s a little thing called the U.S. Constitution that’s getting in the way of this bill. Specifically, the U. S. Constitution requires that Congressmen come from “the Sates” – not districts. Bummer. But I have an idea that will give each voter representation that actually has the right to vote in the halls of Congress. And the solution is remarkably similar to that of Solomon of old.

Divide D.C. down the middle. Half the voters vote in Maryland for Federal elections. Half vote in Virginia. They continue to vote as a city for local elections, but when it comes to national votes, they become citizens of one of the two nearest states. No new Senators. No new Representatives. No change in the balance of power. The voters become instantly, fully “franchised.”

Of course, this solution makes waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much sense to fly inside the Beltway. But it’s the right thing to do – cut that baby in half, and give each half to a state. We’d solve the problem, avoid a constitutional crisis, and duck some expensive lawsuits.

Now if we could just come up with similarly elegant solutions for the border, the budget, and the bailouts…