A Movie-ing Experience.

Went to see a flick the other day (my birthday, to be precise) with my 10-year-old daughter.

I don’t go to see a lot of movies any more. Part of it is that my wife doesn’t like to go. Part is that they don’t make a lot of movies that I find interesting. And most movies espouse an outlook on life, morals, and politics that I don’t share. But I found myself in the theatre on Saturday, arriving after the lights went down, but just before the trailers started running. And I discovered another reason I don’t go to the movies much anymore.

People are rude.

Now that’s probably not much of a newsflash for most of you, but I frankly don’t get out much. I work about 90% of the time in my home office, so I don’t rub elbows with the “muddled asses yearning to get free (stuff).”

Throughout the previews, two women in the row immediately behind us talked. And talked. And talked some more. Not quietly, mind you. No stage whispers. Just yammered on, loudly enough that my daughter asked if we could move. No luck – small theatre/busy weekend for the movie biz/no pairs of seats available. So we stayed, hoping it would get better. It didn’t. Ten minutes into Kung Fu Panda, I finally turned around and asked as politely as possible, “Are you planning on talking throughout the rest of the movie?” I expected that this would be enough – the woman would realize she was talking too loudly, and would stop. But noooooooooo. She asked me to repeat my question. I did. She then went for the nuclear option, calling me a name (two, actually) that I have no intention of repeating here. (Suffice it to say that one was one of the late George Carlin’s ‘seven dirty words,’ and the other refered to a body part most commonly associated with scatalogical references.) Keeping my cool, I asked if she wanted me to go get the manager. She challenged me to do so. I did. As luck would have it (mine, not hers), two uniformed members of the Amarillo Police Department came over to assist. Now pause with me for a second, as I make a few facts clear:

1. I just wanted this person to stop talking so my daughter and I could enjoy the movie.
2. I wanted her to stop using foul language around my daughter and the other kids in the theatre.
3. I didn’t get the police involved – the theatre manager did.
4. It was dark in the theatre and I’d removed my glasses (don’t need ’em to see a movie screen), so all I could see was blurry silhouettes.

After the movie, I learned a couple of interesting things:

1. After being escorted out of the theatre by the police, the woman immediately (as the officer put it) “played the race card.” That was interesting, as I had no idea she was anything other than a loud, foul-mouthed movie patron.
2. While I was fetching the manager/police, she continued her cursing, and remarked “if he doesn’t want to listen to me talk, let him buy another ticket and come back later,” which is, of course, missing the point.
3. I wasn’t the only one upset with her – several other patrons apparently complained.
4. She’s threatened to sue – me, the theatre, the police, et cetera.

I don’t know how this will play out. I have faith that if she does find some idiot to represent her, the judge will throw the case out – after all, she was the one making the disturbance. All I did was ask her to quiet down, then turned the matter over to the theatre, who handed it off the the police.

The good news, is that this was an opportunity for me to show my daughter a couple of things:

1. You shouldn’t have to put up with rudeness in public.
2. There’s a right way – and a wrong way – to handle disputes.
3. A lot of people don’t understand that there’s a difference in how you are to behave in public, even if that kind of behavior is acceptable at home.
4. The last one to lose their temper (usually) wins.

So we’ll see if this is over, and if not, how it pans out. I, for one, probably won’t be going back to a movie theatre soon. I’m not afraid of a similar incident – I just don’t relish spending $8 a ticket to put up with that kind of nonsense.