Another Valentines Day is upon us. Pardon me whilst I reflect on Valentines Day, commercialism, holidays, and The Meaning Of It All.
I’m not a big “holiday” guy. I like Christmas. Thanksgiving’s okay. I’m partial to Independence Day, since it bookends my birthday. The rest of them seem to be somehow second-tier. Also-rans. Valentines Day was big when I was a kid, as it was an excuse to get hyped up on limitless amounts of candy. Big sugar rush. As I grew older, I realized that Valentines Day (like New Years) was society’s excuse to force you to keep score, relationship-wise. As an adult male, if you were in a serious relationship, Valentines Day is the time you are forced to Be Romantic™ and Do Something Special™ for your significant other. The evil cabal of retailers/media/peer pressure combines to force you to treat this day as sacrosanct. Understand – as a capitalist, I’m perfectly happy to see people make money on almost any venture. I just object to ventures that set expectations in a very public fashion, simply to have their hand out, and make money off me, for no better reason than they can.
My wife pointed out that “we love each other every day, and show it – not just on one day out of the year.” (Her practical nature is one of the reasons I fell in love with her.) However, neither of us is immune from the siren call of Valentines Day. Our seven-year-old offspring is also showing signs of early infection…she was obsessed this A.M. as to whether one of her classmates would ask her to “be his valentine.” So she gets to learn, at a tender age, just what Valentines Day is really about – unrealistic expectations and diassapointment.
I suppose I should fess up and admit that I proposed to my wife on Valentines Day. There’s a certain risk in doing something like that. If it works, you have one less date to remember, every year. On the other hand, if the proposal is spurned – or if the relationship sours, you’ve pretty much ruined one holiday for the rest of your natural-born days.
My stepson called last night, looking for suggestions on what he could do for his girlfriend that would be suitably romantic. (I suppose it is a measure of man’s cluelessness and desperation on the subject that we call each other for romantic advice.) I gave him some suggestions – tempered by his limited budget. I think he’ll do well. The important thing, he’s already learned. It’s not so much what you do – it’s that you tried to do something sincerely. And as George Burns said, “Sincerity. That’s the key. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
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