You know that book? The one titled “Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”? I’m thinking of writing one on geo-political logic, called “The World is One Big School Playground.”
In WWII, the playground was Europe. Germany was the big bully kid – not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but big enough and mean enough to throw his weight around to get what he wanted. What he wanted was the lunch money – and everything else – from Poland, Czechoslovakia, France, et cetera. In his gang were Italy (not quite as smart or strong as Germany, but exhibiting the same tendencies towards bullying) and Russia (kid with a chip on his shoulder, with no parents to teach him right from wrong, who fell in with the bad crowd.) Let’s not forget Japan (brainy kid – a nerd – who’s too small to be a bully, but dreams of lording his intellect over the other kids – willing to go with the bullies so he can then become their leader after they’ve beaten the good guys). On the other side of the schoolyard, you had England (brainy kid who fights back when he gets cornered – a good guy to have on your side, as he’ll fight on the basis of principal), France (weak kid who surrenders quickly, but would LIKE to see the good guys win) and America (the school quarterback who believes in protecting the weak). The rest of the countries were like the little kids – serving as collateral damage for the fight (although you can make the argument that Switzerland was like the kid who tries to play both sides against the middle to make a buck off betting on the outcome of the fight).
Today, we have a similar situation. America is still the school’s star athlete, dedicated to doing the right thing. England is still the reserved, brainy kid who fights on principal and has America’s back. France is still the weasel who gives up too easily. Germany, the bully who, remembering the beating he got back in ‘45, is reluctant to get involved, but is perfectly willing to side against the good guys. Oh, yeah – there’s Russia, who’s pulling the same sort of thing – betting against the good guys, but unwilling to get into a fight with America, after changing sides late in the game.
New to our school playground are Israel, Iraq, Iran, and the rest of the Arab countries.
Israel is like the outsider kid – smart, but not popular…plucky, but needs an ally in America and the U.K. to keep from getting sandbagged by the Arab gang.
Iraq is the bully without portfolio – the bully who got caught being just a little too brazen, only to find his gang deserted him, and all the fireworks he thought he had in his locker fizzled. He’s taken a licking, and is in the process of licking his wounds and complaining about the unfairness of it all to anyone who will listen.
Iran? Here’s a glimpse into Iran’s psyche, from the movie Stripes :
Psycho : The name’s Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.
Leon : Ooooooh.
Psycho : You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don’t like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. And I don’t like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.
Sergeant Hulka : Lighten up, Francis.
Iran is this little popinjay that thinks it can yell loudly and make everyone do what it wants. (It’s only a matter of time before the good guys put Iran in its place. [See: Germany, Japan, Iraq…]
The rest of the Arab countries strike me as something like the foreign exchange students in Animal House – except they have a chip on their shoulder the size of Montana, and are ready, willing, and able to shoot up the schoolyard to get what they want.
So…what happens next?
I think, as much as I hate to say it, that we’re going to have to unilaterally go over and put a stop to Iran’s crazy ambition to bring about the Apocalypse. I suspect that this will involve us being forced to use nuclear force to prevent Iraq from getting the bomb. I hope that whatever we do, we can limit the damage to Iran – and just to their military sites, so their people can rise up (if they’re smart) and overthrow their radical government.
Korea’s a problem. Think “crazy special-ed kid that brings a loaded handgun to school.” If we go to war with Iran, maybe he’s not so crazy as to note what happens – and settle down a little.
In a way, the biggest problem we’ve got right now are the kids (France, Germany, China, and our entire MSM corps) standing on the sidelines, calling US names and egging the islamo-facists on. If we actually prosecuted people for treason, Al Gore would be up on charges in a heartbeat. (My wife had an interesting suggestion…just wait for a liberal to travel abroad, then deny them reentry into the USA.)
Just like the quarterback on the football team, America has no desire to fight with anybody. But just like that quarterback, we have no desire to see little nations get picked on, nor can we condone groups of bullies that think its okay to do whatever they want. (This whole Muslim response to the cartoon thing in Denmark has me beside myself. The very groups that have no problem with cartoons equating Jews with pigs and monkeys and regularly portray Bush as Hitler seem to have a very thin skin when it comes to political cartoons that depict Muslims in a bad light.)
Back when I was in school, there were days that I dreaded going out on the playground – days when I just knew I was going to get beaten up by a bully. But I also remember what happened when I’d gotten a bellyful, and fought back – and won. It is always a good feeling when the bullies lose, and the good guys win. America won’t stand by and let the bullies win.
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