Yelling “Movie!” in a crowed firehouse.

In January 2006, The “King of All Media” (a.k.a. Howard Stern) moves his blue humor act from terrestrial radio to Sirius satellite radio.

Yawn.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to hold my breath that Sirius is going to see some huge uptick in sales, as Stern-iacs sign up for satelite radio to get their daily fix. (A) I don’t care, and (B) I know something Sirius doesn’t.

Consider parents with a youngster who suddenly discovers that he can get a rise out of his parents when he uses a “bad” word. What happens? Well, in my family, the child is told “we don’t approve of that kind of language.” If the language persists, the punishment begins. Eventually (even in families that equate a lack of discipline with “loving” the child) the novelty of the bad word wears off. Eventually, the child must either give up, or look for an even more shocking word. Eventually, even that falls flat, and the child has nothing left to do for an encore.

Pause with me for a nanosecond.

Is Howard Stern REALLY any different from a four-year-old kid? I think not.

Now before you Howard fans go ballistic, let me assure you that I’m not some prude. I like a good joke as much as the next guy. I’ve told my share of jokes not appropriate for mixed company. I’ve been know to let loose with a string of invectives that would make a sailor blush. In short, I am not posing as some sort of moral, holier-than-thou whiner that thinks nobody should be allowed to have fun.

I’ve got news for you. You can only shock people with your outlandish behavior for so long before it no longer shocks. Ask Madonna. She’s gone from “writing” books like Sex to creating children’s books. Stern can keep this up for only so long before his scatalogical, sexual freak show he calls a radio broadcast loses it’s lustre. I’ve got to hand it to him – he is a master at manipulating the public, and he’s had a longer run than I’d thought he would. Sooner or later, though, he’s gonna have to do something even more shocking than the last thing, in order to keep his audience titillated.

So, Howard…once you get past the initial “bump” in the Sirius audience uptick, what are you gonna do for an encore?