Captain Digital

Random musings on politics, society, and pop culture from the Internet's marketing curmudgeon.

Biden

Hell to the Veep.

The Veep. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The Veep. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Back in the day, I had a college professor for Freshman English who’s favorite assignment was for us to “compare and contrast.” (Beowulf versus Sir Gawain and the Green Knight was his favorite smackdown.) I thought about him today when I read yet another story about  Joe Biden, our illustrious Vice President, putting his foot in his mouth yet again. (Are his shoes orthopedic or orthodontic?)  Think back several administrations ago, when Bush the First was in office. Back then, the media’s favorite sport was lying in wait for then-Vice President Dan Quayle to say something – anything – that they could pounce on. Remember the big brouhaha about “Potatoe”? How about his comment about unwed mothers? As I recall, nothing Quayle did or said even remotely approached the idiocy of what our current Veep comes out with on a more-or-less regular basis. And while we do get to hear about what Biden says (thanks to FOX News and conservative Talk Radio), nobody in the mainstream press seems to be able to muster up more than a “that’s just ol’ crazy Uncle Joe…gotta love him” kind of riff. No outrage. No “off with his head frothing at the mouth.” No “get this guy a muzzle, stat!” panic from the members of the fourth estate. No, they saved all that for Danforth “Full Dinner Jacket” Quayle. Nope. Nary a peep outta the media over Biden, even as virtually every Republican I know is suddenly praying fervently for the continued health of Obama. [Read more…] about Hell to the Veep.

No, I’M Spartacus!

You gotta love the whole Joe the Plumber thing. For all the efforts John McCain has made to make a dent in Obama’s Teflon armor, it took a blue collar guy like Joe to make a connection to We the People…(Hey! This guy Obama is gonna take my money and redistribute it to people who don’t work, or don’t have as much money as I do!)

Of course, the Obama campaign, those on the Left, and the mainstream media could not let this go unchallenged. [Read more…] about No, I’M Spartacus!

None of the Above.

That’s not just the title of this post, it’s my vote for who won, and who’d I’d LIKE to vote for in November (given that I can’t vote for Sarah Palin for President – or Fred Thompson, for that matter). 

After this debate, I don’t want EITHER of these idiots in the White House. Obama has ALWAYS scared the Hell out of me, because almost every answer drags us down the path of socialism. McCain wasn’t much better – he apparently thinks the government should get into the business of guaranteeing the value of homes by having the Feds buy mortgages and allowing homeowners to refinance them based on their current, diminished value. 

What in the HELL is going on here? [Read more…] about None of the Above.

Palin Rocks!

Well, the VP debate is over. Whew! I can breathe again. From where I sit, Palin came, she saw, and she conquered. Flat out, she rocked. Biden was able to avoid putting his foot in his mouth verbally, but he did set a record for smirking, and another for forced smiles. Advantage: Palin. 

If we were to use the mainstream media standard, Palin made no mistakes (they would have judged her survival on the basis her not making more than one or two gaffes), and therefore “survived.” So if you’re a conservative, you’re going to say “Palin Won.” If you are a liberal, you’ll probably say something like “Palin acquitted herself adequately [sniff], but Biden enunciated his positions, where Palin made a base appeal to middle America.” [Read more…] about Palin Rocks!

Get out your crystal balls…

…for it’s debate time. I’m looking forward to tonight with a sense of anticipatory dread. I’m hopeful Palin will exceed all expectations, and blow Biden out of the water. In order to do that, however, she will have to not only win, but win by such a convincing margin that nobody in the mainstream media will be able to pretend she didn’t. Here are the possible outcomes, in order of worst to best. I’m handicapping the debate, just so some of my liberal friends and I will be able to gloat about who’s right and who’s wrong, prediction-wise, aprés-debate… [Read more…] about Get out your crystal balls…

Just in case you had any delusions about a lack of media bias…

…ladies and gentlemen, I give you the moderator of Thursday night’s Vice Presidential debates: Gwen Ifill. 

You’re not familiar with Ms. Ifill? Neither was I. Evidently, neither was the Commission on Presidential Debates (a supposedly neutral organization), nor was the McCain camp. Ifill is a senior correspondent for the PBS show, The News Hour, with Jim Lehrer. (Any association with PBS woulda done it for me – PBS being far from neutral in it’s news shows. But I digress.) More importantly, on January 20, 2009, Ifill’s new book will be released. The title? The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama. If you harbor any illusions that her book is a critical look at the Democrat’s standard-bearer, take a look at this abstract from Amazon.com: [Read more…] about Just in case you had any delusions about a lack of media bias…

It’s up for debate.

I was never on the debate team in High School. Always thought I’d be pretty good at it – I love to challenge people with whom I disagree, and enjoy the give-and-take when someone can argue their positions with facts and logic (as opposed to rhetoric and emotion. 

I watched the debate last night with interest. The candidate on the side I’m pulling for (the conservative side, if there was ever any doubt) is not known for his inspiring speeches or magnetic personality. The guy on the left (Obama) is all about lofty rhetoric, but generally short on specifics, not to mention logic. Then of course, you have to factor in the pundits. “McCain needs to put Obama away to win this.” “Obama is in the lead, he just needs to not screw up…a draw is a win for him.” “Both candidates need to deal with specifics, so we can get past the slogans and see real plans.” Um, yeah. I made that last one up. Nobody in the media has been saying anything like that.

So, how did it go? I dunno. I think Obama started strong, but then got more and more rattled as the night went on. McCain did surprisingly well, but I don’t know if that was enough to move undecideds into his column. I think this election is gonna come down to the wire. I would like to make a few observations on last night’s performances: [Read more…] about It’s up for debate.

Bias, with a side of mud.

Item #1: A few years ago, Rolling Stone magazine ran a series of brilliant ads in other trade publications, to educate potential advertisers as to who really reads Rolling Stone. They were two-page spreads – on the left showed someone dressed as a classic, 1960’s-era hippie. The headline read “Perception.” On the following page the same guy was dressed in a Brooks Brothers 3-piece suit, with a briefcase. The headline on that page read “Reality.” The body copy stated some demographics for the magazine, pointing out that a majority of their readers were affluent and held real jobs.

Item #2: My daddy used to impart a number of pearls of wisdom to me, two of which were “you can’t throw mud without getting some on you,” and “the guilty dog barks first.”

Keep these items in mind as I share with you some bon mots from the campaign trail… [Read more…] about Bias, with a side of mud.

There’s only two things I don’t like about liberal pundits…

…their face.

(For those of you that are liberals, that’s a reference to being two-faced.) You see, for as long as I can remember, Liberals have owned the franchise on demographic groups like “feminists,” “soccer moms,” “working moms,” and “women who want to break through glass ceilings.” Then came Sarah Palin.

Pwned.

Even though I expected Liberals go go appoplectic over Palin, I figured they’d be smart enough to stop short of hypocrisy when they turned the attack dogs of war her direction. I was wrong. We’re seeing little bon mots like this: [Read more…] about There’s only two things I don’t like about liberal pundits…

A Light Dawns.

Wow. When McCain sewed up the GOP nomination, I was resigned to hoping that he’d make a really great VP pick – somebody who would embody REAL Conservative values and principles. Sadly, none of the frontrunners really rang my bell. Jindal refused to be considered. Thompson wasn’t even in the running. Romney looked like a lock, but lost a lot of cred in the primaries, with unexplained “changes of heart” on core-values issues.

Then McCain surprised us all. [Read more…] about A Light Dawns.