Category Archives: Random Stuff

A Movie-ing Experience.

Went to see a flick the other day (my birthday, to be precise) with my 10-year-old daughter.

I don’t go to see a lot of movies any more. Part of it is that my wife doesn’t like to go. Part is that they don’t make a lot of movies that I find interesting. And most movies espouse an outlook on life, morals, and politics that I don’t share. But I found myself in the theatre on Saturday, arriving after the lights went down, but just before the trailers started running. And I discovered another reason I don’t go to the movies much anymore.

People are rude.

Now that’s probably not much of a newsflash for most of you, but I frankly don’t get out much. I work about 90% of the time in my home office, so I don’t rub elbows with the “muddled asses yearning to get free (stuff).” Continue reading A Movie-ing Experience.

Patently Ridiculous.

Can we stop for a moment and talk about patents? I’m a creative guy. Over the years I’ve come up with any number of creative ideas. Some of them could/should be protected, intellectual property. Some were just great ideas. As a creative guy, I’m generally in favor of some kind of protection for those who come up with some useful new invention. On the other hand, I’m for the immediate dissolution of the U. S. Patent Office, and the creation of a new agency that understands what in the HELL they are doing.

Here’s the deal. Let’s say you invent something. Nobody ever thought of it before. It’s useful. It’s cool. You don’t want somebody to steal your idea, so you apply for a patent. Your product takes off. You make millions. At some point, your patent runs out, and everybody and their cat decides to market a me-too product, turning your product from a unique gadget into a commodity. You resign yourself to make less money.

This is how patents are supposed to work. Continue reading Patently Ridiculous.

Valentines® Day™ (New! Improved!)

Another Valentines Day is upon us. Pardon me whilst I reflect on Valentines Day, commercialism, holidays, and The Meaning Of It All.

I’m not a big “holiday” guy. I like Christmas. Thanksgiving’s okay. I’m partial to Independence Day, since it bookends my birthday. The rest of them seem to be somehow second-tier. Also-rans. Valentines Day was big when I was a kid, as it was an excuse to get hyped up on limitless amounts of candy. Big sugar rush. As I grew older, I realized that Valentines Day (like New Years) was society’s excuse to force you to keep score, relationship-wise. As an adult male, if you were in a serious relationship, Valentines Day is the time you are forced to Be Romantic™ and Do Something Special™ for your significant other. The evil cabal of retailers/media/peer pressure combines to force you to treat this day as sacrosanct. Continue reading Valentines® Day™ (New! Improved!)

Whither Carpet?

Carpet. Really ugly carpet.

Carpet. What a weird invention. Now take rugs…rugs I understand. Anyone with hardwood floors and freezing weather can instantly see the value of a good area rug. But carpet? Come on…if ever there was an invention where the inventor deserved to burn in Hell for all time, it’s carpet. Allow me to explain…

Carpet is basically a wall-to-wall rug, right? I mean, if a rug covers up part of your floor, why not cover up all of your floor, huh? I’ll tell you why, bunkie. It’s because you can’t roll up a carpet and haul it out of the house to get all the dust, dirt, bugs, and other assorted crap out of it. THAT’S why.

Continue reading Whither Carpet?

Happy Old Year.

Sometime after Christmas, everybody starts wishing everyone else “Happy New Year.” I, myself, like to spend the time between the 25th and the 1st thinking of what happened during the last 12 months, and hoping I can avoid repeating the same mistakes next year. That said, it’s probably a good time to reflect, and share a few thoughts about last year that are on my mind. Continue reading Happy Old Year.

A Modest Proposal on Driving.

You can't drive 55.I’ve been thinking a lot about bad drivers. The holidays seem to bring out the worst in people. They’re in a hurry. They’re rude. They take the laws of self-preservation less than seriously, then get mad if you so much as touch your horn in protest.

I think I have a solution.

No, it’s not traffic cams. It’s not more police on traffic duty (although, that wouldn’t hurt). It’s not stiffer fines for reckless driving.

It’s a phone number. Continue reading A Modest Proposal on Driving.

Getting Even.

I’m not big on getting even. The older I get, the more pointless it seems. Even though I’m a Christian (and proud to be one, thank you very much), there’s something in me that believes in at least the possibility of “karma” – the “what goes around, comes around” theory of the universe. At a fundamental level, we obey laws because we know that if we don’t, something bad will (eventually) happen to us. For some people, their personal moral code keeps them on the straight and narrow. For others, it’s the knowledge that the police will, sooner or later, catch you if you do something wrong. For some, it’s the fear of the condemnation by their peers. Continue reading Getting Even.

Tax the Stupid.

Tax the Stupid.Okay. Stay with me on this one. In America, we tax everything. There’s income tax, sales tax, inheritance tax, and on and on and on. That doesn’t even begin to cover all the hidden taxes – user fees, surcharges, and the like. I, for one, would dearly love to see the entire U.S. tax code scrapped, and either a flat tax (X% of income) or a VAT (value-added tax) to replace all of it. Since I don’t think I’ll see that in my lifetime, I have a modest proposal for an alternative that would generate all the income the government needs, and then some. It’s simple, effective, and likely to be welcomed with open arms by a vast majority of the public.

Tax the stupid. Continue reading Tax the Stupid.