Category Archives: Media

The People v. Climate Change

To the Honorable Chief Justice John Roberts and the Honorable Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States of America:

If it please the court, we hereby submit this petition for an injunction to bind the United States Government from any activity in support of the concept of Climate Change, including, but not limited to, “cap and trade,” “carbon taxes,” “carbon emissions,” and “environmental impact,” either through legislation, executive action, or administrative regulations. We ask the court’s help, due to the fact that Climate Change (nee: “Global Warming,” nee: “Global Cooling”) is so clearly a religion, and therefore violates Article I of the United States Constitution prohibiting the establishment of religion and abridging freedom of speech or of the press.  Continue reading The People v. Climate Change

On Bullying…and Bullies.

When I was a kid we had bullies. I was a student at Southfield School. And in 6th grade there was a kid who was bullying me. It just didn’t stop. I tried being nice. I tried keeping quiet. I tried telling the Principal. Nothing worked…until one day I’d had enough. I got to my mom’s car and threw my books in, furious, and I told her “Wait here…I’ve got something to take care of,” and I stormed off. There used to be an old wooden long building out by the field, they used as dressing rooms. I stormed onto the field, looking for this kid, mad as Hell, and I wasn’t going to take it any more. 
Continue reading On Bullying…and Bullies.

The nature of Heaven. And Hell.

You know that joke about what countries would be in charge of things if this were Heaven or if it were Hell? You know the one…where in Heaven, the British are the police, and in Hell, it’s the Germans? Well, I got to thinking about how that would apply to technology. And I came up with this: Continue reading The nature of Heaven. And Hell.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt will break cable. For good.

One of the many cool things about raising a teen is that you get a whole new perspective on entertainment. Take music, for instance. When I was a teen, I used to look at my dad (who hated Rock with a passion he usually reserved for socialists, communists, and people that requested “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” when he was playing a gig), and think “When and how did he decide that the only music he was interested in was OLD music?” Continue reading Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt will break cable. For good.

Pretzel Logic (with apologies to Steely Dan)

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to watch, does it still make a sound? Of course it does. To think otherwise is silly.

If a man commits a crime and no one catches him, is it still a crime? No doubt.

But what if a politician or bureaucrat (or several of them) commit a crime, break the law, or violate the Constitution and the news media suppresses the story, and does not report on it…is it still newsworthy? I’d say undeniably “YES.” But that’s abstract. The reality is a bit more complicated. Continue reading Pretzel Logic (with apologies to Steely Dan)

R.I.P. Thomas Kincaid, 1957-2012

I just heard that Thomas Kincaid died suddenly today. It’s estimated that one in every twenty homes in America have one of his mass-produced masterpieces in it. Not ring a bell? Okay, how about this: Go to virtually any mall in America and look for the shop that sells paintings. Odds are the sign outside the door reads “Thomas Kincaid, Painter of Light.” Ahhhh. Now you get the connection. Now being an artist myself, you might think I’m all about mocking Kincaid. But I come not to bury him, but to praise him.  Continue reading R.I.P. Thomas Kincaid, 1957-2012

“Loser-iana” No More.

I was born and raised in Louisiana. While my hometown is Shreveport, New Orleans was, is and probably always shall be the center of the Louisiana Universe. When I was but a lad, the state got pro-football fever, when the New Orleans Saints set up shop. I remember hearing that we’d see a Super Bowl trophy Really Soon Now – surely within the first ten years, n’est pas? Nope. Throughout most of the team history, it’s been a story of loss – sometimes snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, sometimes just being bad. Heartbreakingly, astonishingly bad. What other team could generate so much angst and ennui from their own fans that they would hide their faces in shame.
Tonight, all is forgiven.
All that faith, love, and hope has been rewarded tonight with the ultimate prize. Let us celebrate. Let there be merriment in the streets, celebration in the schools, and songs in our hearts. Let the men in black and gold be our standard-bearers, and lead the state proudly.
There is no need to make excuses any longer.
There is no need to put an asterisk beside the state’s listing.
There is no need to apologize.
Tonight the entire state rejoices.
Tonight, New Orleans looks with pride and confidence to the future.
Tonight we are as one – one state with a shared pride.
“Loser”-ania no more, indeed.

[BLEEP] This.

I was surfing around my Dad’s satellite service last night, and stumbled on a rebroadcast of Blazing Saddles on AMC. Several years ago, I made a list of what I thought were the ten funniest movies ever made (in no particular order). As I recall, the list went something like this, give or take:

  • Blazing Saddles (Brooks/Little/Wilder)
  • Young Frankenstein (Brooks/Wilder/Feldman)
  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Monty Python)
  • Arsenic & Old Lace (Cary Grant)
  • The Producers (Brooks/Mostel/Wilder)
  • Animal House (Landis/Belushi)
  • A Night at the Opera (Marx Brothers)
  • Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (Stoppard/Oldman/Roth)
  • Airplane! (Abrams/Zucker/Abrams)
  • Duck Soup (Marx Brothers)

When you watch a great movie, you’re watching a collaborative effort, but one that SOMEbody (usually the director) oversees and marks with his or her creative stamp. In comedies, more so that any other art form, timing is essential. Just one frame (a 24th of a second) can make a recognizable difference in the timing of a joke.

That brings me to the hatchet job AMC did on Blazing Saddles. Continue reading [BLEEP] This.

The UN-candidate.

Gov. Palin: You say Goodbye...I say Hello!
Gov. Palin: You say "Goodbye"...I say "Hello!"

We are all, at one level or another, creatures of habit. That’s a good thing, most of the time. I mean, if we woke up to a world everyday where we had to figure out how to feed and clothe ourselves, with no idea of what would come next, none of us would leave very productive lives. But there’s a dark side to habit – that being the phenomena whereby we attempt to pigeonhole everything that happens, so we can process it, understand it (in terms of previous experiences) and move on. This system of shorthand evaluations doesn’t work at all, however, when you run smack dab up against something new. New is…different. It doesn’t fit the mold. It doesn’t lend itself to snap analyzes, or fitting into patterns. But “new” is where innovation comes from. It’s where solutions come from. And it’s where our future lies.

Consider (soon-to-be former) Gov. Sarah Palin. Continue reading The UN-candidate.

A Call to Arms. And Legs.

The Spirit of 1776 lives!
The Spirit of 1776 lives!

Do you love your country? I do. What are you willing to do to save it? For it needs saving. Seriously.

Understand, this is not a Democrat versus Republican, or Liberal versus Conservative issue. It’s a Right versus Wrong issue. Our country, our values, our freedoms and our inalienable human rights are under attack. From where I sit, we each have but two choices – ignore the problem and hope it goes away, or do something about it.

So what do we do?

I think the answer are the many Tea Parties that will take place across the country on July 4th.

I am against the idea of armed insurrection. To take up arms against your own country is a contradiction of the very reason to fight – how can you protect the Constitution by violating it? (Answer: you really can’t.) Until and unless the Federal Government ignores the Constitution on a wholesale basis, taking up arms is NOT the answer. And, frankly, we’re a long way from that. Unfortunately, the American people are in the position of the proverbial “frog in the pot,” with the Progressives, Socialists, Communists, and Anarchists turning up the heat, gradually. Ignore the threats to the Constitution at your own peril. Continue reading A Call to Arms. And Legs.